When I have no Business Knitting or Shopping

Whenever I'm under the gun to finish a knitting project--whatever the project--I lose my mind and during the home stretch, I end up casting on for new projects, even though I absolutely must finish something else. It's just one of those rules/truths in my life, like:

1. If I go to IKEA  for a single pack of their cocktail napkins, I will come home with something from the Basisk Series, three jars of Lingonberry, another toilet brush, two plastic ice cube trays in weird shapes, and oh, a piece or two to add to my dying Billy Bookcase System collection.

2. When cooking, if I see some errant piece of vegetable that's brownish and I let it go into the salad along with the other stuff anyway, once I toss it, it will ALWAYS end up on my plate. Ditto for gristle when dealing with animal products.

3. When I go shopping for yarn, I will come home with anything but what I went there to get in the first place.

4. When entering an airplane, I will look up and around, catch the eye of someone who looks like a nightmare to sit next to, and I will always end up next to them. Never fails.

5. Ditto for the bike at the gym.

6. And the yoga joint.

7. When we go wine tasting and all of us are standing in a row waiting for our tastes, every single time, the person conducting the tasting pours less wine in my glass than the other people. This is a theory we have tested time and time again. We have even traded places, thinking it was just where I was standing; but no, I always get less wine to taste. Ask HWWV and he'll confirm this hypothesis.

8. If I buy a lottery scratcher thingy of a certain theme that costs 3 bucks, I will always win 5 bucks, nothing more, nothing less. But when I take the winnings and buy that same 3-buck ticket and another 2-buck one, I will win that same five bucks again on that same themed ticket, and so it goes.

9. This used to always be the case, and I haven't had to deal with it as much as I used to, except for once in awhile now that I do occasional phone interviews, but whenever I have had to wait for a date or a meeting, the person who I was waiting for would only show up after the cat pooped or when I was in the bathroom and could hardly make it to the door or phone. In the case of the date, I'm sure they thought I was the one who pooped.

10. If I were the bachelor and some girl in a purplish dress and knee-high boots turned to me while crossing the road and squeaked or screeched, "squeeeee!" or something to that effect, I would send her home as soon as we got to the other side of the street.

This is my latest On the Needles project, this Simple Things Shawlette, one that I have no business knitting because, first, I don't usually wear these kind of scarves, and second, I should know by now that I start these kind of projects because I'm avoiding the obvious. The yarn is Pagewood Farms sock yarn. The one with the cashmere in it.

Comments

[Lynn in Tucson]

Heh heh. I don't wear these kinds of things either but I'm about 12 rows from the cast-off edge of a Lacy Baktus (deep purple merino-bamboo handspun). I don't think I'll wear the point down my back but I really like this look (tied up in a cowl): http://www.flickr.com/photos/83952633@N00/3645777181/in/photostream/

Mine may have come out a bit larger than that, however....

[ali]

Ahhh the bunny and pagewood two of my favorites

[Debbie]

I don't knit socks but can't tell how much sock yarn I've got. I just keep buying it.

[Pam Grushkin]

It's so nice to hear of someone else who turns to other knitting projects as a means of avoiding a different project.

And, I'm with you on the Bachelor - squeee comment.

Loved the list!

[jomamma]

The wine thing is funny. You must be a very lucky person, not with wine, but with other things. To be able to know these things always happen to you the same way is so cool. It's almost psychic.

[Alice in Richmond]

That list is too funny. But I know what you mean by the nightmare people. And the cat poop.

[Windsor Grace]

I have similar experiences. I thought it was just me. Nice to know there is someone else out there who suffers from the same affliction.

[debd94]

Your truths sound like one of mine: if the take-out order has any errors, they are always in my order...and usually include some food that I am allergic to and cannot eat. This has become a huge joke in our family.

[Jane Prater]

Wendy, we need to work on your positive outlook. Or develop some alternate identities for you a la the spy network.

[Linda]

Like the red nails!

[Cheri]

I have similar truths too. Homework to finish, but this book I'm reading calls to me. A sweater to have done by Saturday, but another socks are more fun. A trip to the store to forget what I needed there....and on and on.

[JelliDonut]

I LOVE that Pagewood yarn and did the very same thing--made a shawlette even though I had one hundred other things that should have taken priority. It's the siren call. We're blameless and helpless.

[chloe]

Whenever we go out to a restaurant anywhere, I get the least full glass of anything! Thanks for making me realize it's not just me. I'm not a shawl person (they never look good on me) but that yarn color is just gorgeous!

[kim]

I have to say this Bachelor is such a drama queen himself. He's always bursting into tears and storming off the set. I think if I were one of those girls that he sent home, I'd be secretly relieved that I dodged that bullet. Can you imagine what marriage to him would be like? He'd cry like a baby every time you had a fight!

[Wendy]

Actually, I don't get this particular Bachelor season at all. I can't believe that there is a likely couple there! I can't see any girl with him or him with any girl!

[Virginia]

I love how you always have pretty manicures. (Especially since I'm a complete manicure maintenance failure)

And the happy cat picture is lovely.

I knitted a Simple Things over Christmas and loved it, and promptly gave it to a good friend of mine because she will actually *wear* it, whereas I will only take it out and admire it every few months. If I remember that I've made it, that is.

[Lea]

OK. I'm must be completely out to lunch, but what is a HWWV?

[Wendy]

funny about the manicures: I just paint them myself, practically every other day because I'm so bad at it that they chip almost immediately!

[dora]

I agree with you on the bachelor. I would never wade in the ocean with boots.

[Chancy]

Hahaha, I totally agree with you on #9...and that Pagewood sock yarn with cashmere is fabulous!

[knittingoutloud]

Great list!

[Badger]

We have every single stinkin' ice cube tray IKEA makes, and yet I still paw through the big bin when I'm there, to see if they have a new one. I never even use the trays I have! I think I need help.

[Evelyn]

Lea....I will answer your question about HWWV because I'm sure Wendy is tired of explaining. It stands for He Who Wears Versace...aka, her husband.

[Susan Florence]

I'm new, completely new. Is this a thread? Do we post threads, or just let the unconscious kinda roll along. It's sweet how every one here (just about) sees herself as the one who suffers--that is, the one left out, gets the smallest drink, the failure--sweet and hmmmmm, something wrong. It's not like that everywhere. Knitters??? I do like the using of one thing to procrastinate on a more important thing. I relate to that, as if we're intimidated by failure in the more important thing--or what do YOU think it is?

[Erin]

This is funny! I belong to a group on Facebook called "I went to Target for shampoo and spent $150!" One of those universal truths! I love your picture of your cat while you are knitting - mine do the same thing.