Oh, Wait:

I was going to tell you all about the crazy aquarium we purchased about five months ago after Girlfriend accomplished all manner of accomplishments, you know: keep the room clean, make bed, take out trash, weed, yadda yadda for four or five weeks straight and then we went to Petco for an aquarium and then it all began.

Since then, we could have had a community-wide fish fry based on the number of fish that have perished.

That creepy frog Godot escaped and I imagine him waiting for me behind some warmish place (toilet?) and Jumbo, the shrimp, died on Gfriend's bathroom floor after the dogs played with him while we slept. Emily died. Ian hasn't yet, but he's looking like he's ready.

And then I was going to tell you about how I jumped the shark and decided that it was okay to go to a place called Hurricane Harbor, a Six Flags place that is a water park. I should have thought longer and harder about suggesting that we go. We spent 30 bucks a person to get in and then seven bucks for each innertube or whatever you call it. Sheesh. I spent a better part of four hours policing those innertubes. I even confronted a scary dude who decided that he could take one of our five. "That's ours!" I told him. "You don't have an orange wrist band! I'm going to go get my husband! Wait here!" And so, I marched off in my tankini to get HWWV and he was busy so I grabbed my ex-boyfriend/now-a-friend who is decidedly taller and what did he do? He basically said: "Take it, bro; be my guest."

So that's what I get from a tall ex from 30 years ago? He let's the bad guy get one of my innertubes?

That day, I became the innertube fuhrer.

I tell you what: Sometimes I wonder if I should take my knitting to more places. Maybe if I showed that innertube stealer delinquent my needles he would have understood just how crazy I am. And that I'd use them on him, or better yet: force him to watch me knit a round.

I'm sure, after a minute or two of that, he'd give up and let me have my innertube back.

But back to what it is that I wanted to tell you: If you lose someone you love who was very, very sick, when you dream of them, they won't be so sick anymore. They may even be as you remember them when they were healthy.

I didn't believe it when people told me this, but it is true.

When I dream of my mother, she is healthy.

That is what I want you to know.

BTW: Here's a Public Service Announcement. Never use expired 70 SPF sunscreen.

Comments

[GinkgoKnits]

Ow, I hope you have some non-expired aloe cream to help with that. And also, I find it a lovely gift that we dream of people who are healthy. We have enough waking memories of our loved ones being ill and certainly don't need those to haunt our dreams.

[Nic]

Yes it's true and it's a wonderful feeling for those few minutes.
It's a gift, as the commenter above puts it so well.

Darn inner tube stealer, and darn ex. Definitely use needles on both of 'em.

[Pat]

Baby, you rock.

[Lisette]

My dad is healthy and happy and protecting me as he always did, in my dreams.

[CeltChick]

I've dreamt of Mom, usually giving me a lecture about something (I can never remember what). Lung cancer took her more than 10 years ago, and she' pretty much stopped talking at all a while before that, so hearing her voice in dreams is definitely a gift.

[Mary K. in Rockport]

(Longtime reader, seldom commenter.)My mother is 98 and in a nearby nursing home. We had a fraught relationship, and now she's in the later stages of dementia. The other night I had a wonderful dream. I came downstairs and there she was, in the kitchen, wearing an apron and even her elastic stockings, tall and young again. We gave each other a big hug. It wouldn't have happened that way in real life, but the dream made me happy.

[Elizabeth]

I am a little teary after reading your post. My dreams work the same way. And even when I think of my husband when I am awake he is always happy and healthy.

[Cheri]

For a brief bit when my dad's (identical) twin brother was near the end, he would tell his care givers "I'm not Albert, I'm Stanley"...for that brief sad moment we had our dad back. Now they are both gone, dad for many years, Uncle dad for a few. But when I dream of them, my dad and Uncle dad, they are as they always were, healthy and happy. And it is a comfort.

[Linda]

Ah, thanks for the positive note about remembering loved ones in dreams as healthy. My stepmother just passed after a two year decline, and it is comforting to think that I'll recall her as the vibrant, bookish, devoted Giants fan and devotee of walking she was, rather than the bedridden, angry woman she became.
Do you use witch hazel on sunburns?

[Nina]

Did you cycle your tank before you put fish in? We made that mistake the first time we got fish. You need to let it be running for a while and then add fish in slowly so that it can equilibrate. Otherwise your nitrate/nitrite balance will be off and your fish will die. Also shrimp are notorious jumpers! We solved that issue by having a light that completely covered the top except by the filter. Even then I'd sometimes find them in the filter when I cleaned it out though they usually were quite happy in there. We also found that some of the more common fish aren't quite as hardy. If you have a heater I'd suggest glofish (zebra danios), tetras, or clouds. They are all super bright and active so great for kids to watch but pretty hardy and forgiving of not as great of water quality. Shrimp are more sensitive so expect some die off until your tank ages a bit. Good luck!

[Pharmacistlady]

As a PSA: don't ever use expired sunscreen... Some of the components in it can become really bad for your skin or even promote burning. Some professionals believe that the expired ingredients in the sunscreens become carcinogenic, but I haven't seen any believable studies to back that up.

I feel for your burn :( I now sit under an umbrella or in the shade wherever I go in the sun and wear lots of sunblock and still have a tan. But more often a burn.

[Wendy]

We cycled the tank but what happened is that I was keeping it too clean! Now that I've allowed it to cycle again (and we only have one fish left), I'll add another and see how it goes... (but no more frogs...that one freaked me out.)

[Darci]

My baby niece passed away 15 years ago...I only dream of her without her tubes. It is better that way.

[Victoria]

OUCH!!!

[Martina]

Ou that hurts. If you can find some aloe vera cactus cut it off and rub the end on your sking. That should help or try some sour cream, that will help too. Old remedy.

[Maryse]

This is an ugly sun burn :( Sadly, passing away is sometimes a liberation. They become our guardian angels. May they rest in peace.

[Wendy]

Biafine is an RX my derm gave me. It is a miracle worker! (I also have lots of Aloe plants around that I've been using.)

[Maureen J]

I still talk to my mother, who died when I was young, and turn to her when in need of comfort. It's so odd to think that I am now so much older than she was when she died. I could be her mother.

[kathleen]

Oh, yes, I should carry my needles around. Then maybe the line nazi at the quaint local market wouldn't have jammed me with his cart :)

Oh, btw, whenever I dream about my father (who passed on 32 years ago) he is just fine.

[Meredith MC]

I have been comforted by dreams of my mother healthy as well. Only a few months after she died, I had a very vivid dream of her saying goodbye to me. In life, she knew she was passing, so we had a mortal goodbye as well, and she told me that if there is a way for her to reach me from beyond death, she would. "We're powerful women," she told me.
In my dream, I was sitting next to her, cuddling on the couch as we did when I was a child, only I was grown up. I was telling her I didn't want her to go. She said that she had too, but she knew I would be okay now, and to remember she loves me. She was her healthy self.
I awoke feeling like I had been with my mom, I could even smell her. That was 20 years ago, and I can remember it like it just happened. I call it a dream, but it was the truest dream I've ever had.
Thanks for bringing up this memory. I could use some mother's love today!

[Seanna Lea]

That is a nasty looking sunburn. Note to self. Don't wear expired sunscreen.

Of course, additional note to self. Remember to wear sunscreen.

[Anne]

Get yourself some spray-on Lanacaine or aloe gel. The key here is spray so you don't have to rub anything on burned skin!

[Sarah]

I hear you on the inner tubes!

Re sunscreen, I am the palest New Zealander (I'm part Maori but that part is evidently all on the inside; my brother is brown. Friends put sunglasses on when they see me coming)

Mum used to put expired sunscreen on me without realising sunscreen even had an expiry date. She was always militant about reapplying after swimming, yet I would always get burnt. The ozone hole was big back then too.

Since growing up and buying my own sunscreen, I realised that not only should I not use expired sunscreen, I should not use sunscreen bought last summer. Expiry dates don't count when you're the palest New Zealander.

Then I discovered mineral sunscreen. It's only spf 25 but it does the trick and doesn't expire (the ingredients separate out but you can shake them back together). And it doesn't have any nasty stuff in it. Don't let the low spf put you off, it really works.

[susan]

I very recently lost my father and for some time he had been ... declining I guess is the best way to put it. Suffice it to say he was very much NOT the father I grew up with. I have been actively trying to remember him in his good times to forever banish who he became. I think it's working. I haven't had the dreams yet but I do remember dreaming about my grandmother after losing her and she was always ok in my dreams. The mind is a funny thing.

[Rachel]

Completely off topic, the little girl on the cover of the Lowe's Creative Ideas magazine this month looks so much like your daughter. She's wearing some lovely knitted items also. Just had to stop in and read your blog after seeing the cover.