knit and tonic

Why I Don't Like Birthdays

I don't like birthdays because they are artificial reasons to celebrate. I mean, who cares if I was a year older yesterday? I certainly don't like it and I won't be swayed by my friends and acquaintances who talk of aging gracefully. Please. Who ages gracefully?

Sure, if you have an assistant with really great eyeballs or maybe those miner head-light things that magnify stuff, you won't ever find that stray hair or ten on your chin, the ones that popped up just this morning. I can't afford that crap and I don't plan to. I'd rather just sit at red lights, resist the draw of my iPhone, and try to pluck the offending hairs out of my chin myself when I think no one else is looking.

I think I told you a story a few years ago about going to get a root canal on one of my canine teeth for lack of a better description--the roots suffered in high school during a hectic and rather dramatic orthodontic spring that they placed there to bring the fangs down in about a week, anyway--so, I was on my way and last minute I remembered that the endodontist was quite the looker, and being on the later side of 40, I took my right hand and cupped my chin like men do who have beards and whoops! Two good strong whiskers were there, right under my fingertips.

Long story short, they were so short and my eyesight wasn't so good that I dug into my chin so instensely that I settled into the dentist's chair with a big hole on my chin and a couple of whiskers still very intact and poking out like cactus spine poker things.

I recall that my mother didn't like her birthday, either. I have two pictures of her making faces and hand gestures at the camera. One was on her 40th. The other was a little later and I won't say which one it was because, first, I don't remember, and second, she wouldn't want you to know that she was old enough to care.

But I miss her. She's been gone now for nine years.

And it is funny: I always tried to envision her as an old(er) woman and I never could.

It is so hard to reconcile these sad feelings with the very feelings she used to display that I never understood. I hope that I don't teach Girlfriend this stuff.

But I did show her how to properly eat an oyster.

My hope is that she becomes as bad-ass as I think she is, rather than someone who doesn't like birthdays.

Tip of the Day: Wear The Bun and Dark Sunglasses Indoors

The other day we were celebrating our three birthdays (my sister's, my daughter's, and mine) at a place in Calabasas from which I had been previously kicked out (30th birthday party a million years ago; don't ask) and something really strange happened. A 20-something guy tried to pick up on me.

Back in the day, I was pretty skilled at deflecting unwanted advances.

And even though I haven't been approached by a man in, oh, more than 10.724 years, I'd venture to say I haven't lost my touch.

I brought Girlfriend to the bathroom, and sat down at an empty red-checkered table outside the door. Next thing I know, some leftover from Brunch, hanging onto an empty champagne glass, plops himself right down in front of me.

"Hi. Are you single?"

"Nope."

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Waiting for my daughter; she's in the bathroom."

"I'm going to flirt with you."

"You go right on ahead."

"I love your shades."

"They're probably older than you."

The End.

Actually, there were two things at play here. First, I was wearing huge black sunglasses indoors, and second, I was wearing my hair in The Bun. Witness, The Bun:

There are a couple asides:

1. I've loaded all the pictures onto Ravelry in case you guys want to see the designs in Custom Knits 2.

2. I'm going to be at Vogue Knitting Live in Century City on Saturday--the marketplace--at 12:30 - 1:30 in booth #4. Anacapa Fine Yarns will be hosting a book signing and sale, as well as displaying yarns that go along with a handful of patterns that you can find in the book. I'll be on hand to sign books and to chat and hang out. I can't wait. (The tickets to get into the marketplace are ridiculously inexpensive, in case you're wondering.)

3. And if you don't recognize me at first, just look for THE BUN. I'll be rocking it. And please pray that the tube sock I stick in there won't be showing.

Oh Man. They Arrived: My Copies of Custom Knits 2 - Comments Closed

Although it hasn't yet hit the stores and I'm not sure if Amazon has released it yet, I got these in the mail today. In some ways, it's a bit scary. Why? First, I just finished a third book that will release in the Spring and I'm in talks with my publisher about a fourth book. Talk about a lot of work. It is all fun work, but hard work. People think that writing books is somehow idillyic, but it isn't.

It is super freaking fantastic, that is what it is.

Anyway, I want to spread the love. I have two copies of the book to give away this week. There is something very, very special about this book that I will tell the winners about. Something probably only three other people know. And it's good dish. You'll have to sign a confidentiality thingy. You know what I mean.

Leave a comment with your favorite stitch ever. It can be seed stitch, a rib, a certain cable and simple lace repeat. Just tell me what your favorite stitch pattern is, and I'll enter you into the drawing. In a few days, I'll do a random pick and email the winners. I'll also sign the books and give you the dish. Har har. Life is good.

JUST CLOSED COMMENTS. WILL RANDOMLY SELECT TWO WINNERS TOMORROW. THANKS SO MUCH FOR PLAYING! I AM SERIOUSLY WONDERING ABOUT THE POPULARITY OF SEED STITCH. IT'S MY PERSONAL FAVE, BUT WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT WAS SO WIDE SPREAD?

The Downtown Bonnet

Here's a fresh take on the bonnet. Knit with two colors of sportweight yarn, it's a topper that will tease the ingenue right out of you. (I can't believe I just typed that.)

Actually, I saw one of these about a year ago and instantly fell in love. Depending upon the colors you choose, it can be sporty, elegant (in one color, perhaps?) or youthful. I can see it on all ages and it is multi-seasonal.

This knit project utilizes a simple slip-stitch pattern that creates textural waves of color. Use just one color and you'll see ripples of texture.

Since you can easily knit one in a weekend, the Downtown Bonnet is a great gift idea, or a take-along project that you can knit for yourself during downtime.

The stitch pattern is easy to remember and I consider the project to be suitable for an adventurous beginner. It is knit flat and then joined and knit in the round to shape the back.

SIZES
Youth (Women’s Average)

FINISHED MEASUREMENTS
8 (9)" from center back to Front Edge
16 (19)" chin to chin

YARN 
Youth Size: Lorna’s Laces Honor (70% Baby Alpaca / 30% silk / 275 yards / 100 grams): 1 hank each Violet (MC) and Island Blue (CC)
Women’s Size: The Fibre Company Road to China (65% baby alpaca / 10% cashmere / 10% camel / 15% silk; 159 yards / 50 grams): 2 hanks  Grey Pearl (MC); 1 hank Light Citrine (CC)

NEEDLES
One 24" long or longer circular needle size US 4 (3.5mm)
One 24" long or longer circular needle size US 3 (3.25mm)
One set double-point (dpn) needles US 4 (3.5mm)
Change needle size if necessary to obtain correct gauge

GAUGE
25 sts and 36 rows to 4" in Wavy Stripes, using larger needles

 

Click on the button below to buy a copy. It will be sent to you in a zipped PDF file via email when payment is made or eCheck clears. Thanks!

$5.00

Wendy Knits Lace Giveaway (No, Not This Wendy. The Other One.)

Back when I first started knitting as a hobby and around the time I began writing this blog, I contemplated lace knitting or "anything that has intentional holes" and complained that lace might get stuck on a bush or something, so why knit it?

Well, as you probably figure, I have changed my mind.  I like lace in smallish doses and have even tried designing a few patterns with so-called "intentional holes." Jordan has been popular (thanks to Myra Wood who wrote the wonderful book Crazy Lace, which basically set me free of my lace ambivalence).

Wendy Knits Lace, a book from Wendy D. Johnson, is the third book I have in my library written about lace. What I like about this book is that there is a nice section on different techniques to help along your lace knitting that covers things like different types of cast ons, bind offs and splicing. It's not super technique heavy or anything, but there is enough in there that will compel you to keep the book on the shelf for reference. She also has a good balance of patterns that will appeal to both beginner and more advanced knitters. The only caveat is that Wendy does provide charts instead of written-out instruction in many of the patterns. I don't blame her, however. If she wrote out each line, the book would be at least twice as long!

I'm giving a copy of this book away. In order to join in the fun, please leave a comment giving your favorite lace-knitting tip, technique, or the reason why you haven't found one...yet!

I'll close this giveaway in a couple days. All comers invited.

COMMENTS NOW CLOSED. IN PROCESS OF CONTACTING WINNER.

No Holly Hobby Here

When I was a kid, Holly Hobby was all the rage. Ponchos were cool, too. So, it's no wonder it took about 40 years for my brain to fixate on bonnets again.

This time there is no pouf a la Little House on the Prairie.

The pattern is basically ready; I just have to lay it out. It will be available from Youth to Adult.

When I write books, my publisher asks the team to style the photos as if it were winter or fall, depending upon the type of accessory or garment.

This time, I will do as the SoCal people do and just plop a topper on no matter the weather.

(And you should have been at the gym with me yesterday. I counted at least five guys with knit caps on...and it was 90 degrees outside! [So, you see what I mean.])