A couple of years ago I had a virus that led to a bout of vertigo that lasted a couple months. And when I was in San Diego a month or two ago, it returned out of the blue. So now, when I drive, I get particularly worried that I'll get dizzy and drive right off the road. I know in my heart that it won't happen because I have to be in a particular position to get the vertigo to start, and I don't move that way when I drive, but still. I get nervous in the car and I was telling this to someone at the dentist's office today after getting my teeth cleaned.
"I get that too!" she gushed, "But only when I drive to Disneyland. If I drive in the other direction, I don't get anxiety on the road at all."
"The mere mention of Disneyland gives me the willies," I said. "A couple years ago, I ended up in Hospital Disney for five hours because I couldn't take the 'excitement.' These days, though, the freeway is what sets me off, or really close talkers."
"Do you get the shakes when you're on the road? Like the kind where you're sure you're going to die? Or pass out?"
"No. But let's not talk about it," I said, beginning to feel creepy crawlies rise up my neck.
"...What about the sweats? I get the sweats...and if there's a big truck next to me I freak! And barricades...don't get me started about the barricades!"
"Let's not talk about it....You know, I do have to get back in the car and drive home... May I have my next appointment, please?"
Then she goes: "Aw man. Last time it happened to me, I could swear I was going to die. I nearly blacked out there on the road. Do you do that? Get scared you'll black out and drive right off the road? I grab the wheel real tight, and clench my jaw. What about you?"
And on and on and on.
(I took a walk around the block after that and then avoided all freeways on my way home. Which reminds me--and I don't know if I told you this before--but I knew a lady who was so afraid of turning left on a two-way road that she managed to find a way to get to her job about 25 miles a way without ever making a left-hand turn against traffic. One day, after like 20 some-odd years of taking her tried-and-true route, there was some unexpected road work being done and there was a detour. Word on the street is, her workplace called around looking for her and she basically went missing for an undetermined amount of time. She was never the same after that.)
I think, that rather than working, I will spend the rest of the day finishing up whatever it is that I'm weaving. I say "whatever it is that I'm weaving" because I honestly don't know. I'm just weaving whatever it is, to weave whatever it is.