When Keeping Turns to Giving

This morning, I finally gave up the dream and decided it was time to clean out my closet. And I'm not talking about your general "get rid of what you no longer wear or what doesn't fit" kind of cleaning. I'm talking about the kind of cleaning out that includes saying good bye to the Real Good Stuff. The stuff you still had hopes of wearing again. The gown that is so smashing that there must be a way to fit it into your repertoire, somehow, some way. The fantastic patent leather crocodile raincoat you spent oodles on and got to wear once or twice. I swooned when I bought it and those around me when I wore it did, too. What was I thinking when I bought it? It doesn't rain much here, at least it tends not to rain when there's an opportunity for fashion.

Other items that no longer hold hope for me include a couple Fendi suit items, a Donna Karan something or other that is sorely out of style, a stack of cashmere sweaters (ditto), a suede coat that still had a nice tube of lipstick in the pocket, and three long dresses I wore for New Years Eve awhile back, one black, one a nice drapey chartreuse on black damask-ish material and a pink satin number I wore while pregnant.

It sorta kills me, doing this, but I figure, I had my fun. Now it is time for a lucky sexy person who shops at the Salvation Army to have some fun, too.

Ha! One could also argue that the person who I think is a lucky, sexy person who will be getting some of my good stuff is actually an out-of-fashion schmuck whose paying a little more than she should on used clothing that's already seen its day. Oh well.

Which reminds me of a conversation I had with the pickle eater the other day. I was telling the gals there about a time that I accidentally threw out (yes, threw out) ALL of my suits for work and a couple items that were absolutely irreplaceable (story another day; it's too painful). She nearly fainted, hearing my tale, and then went into a reverie about these old beaded suits she still had in her closet from eons ago, ones that give her goosebumps even thinking about them (I guess Nancy Reagan wore a similar suit a ways back). Any rate, we all asked her if she'd ever wear them again and she said "never." And we said, "Sell them! Give them away!" "Let someone else enjoy them!"

We couldn't budge her. I reminded her that she will die with those things in her closet. And she said that it was fine with her if someone else has to figure out what to do with them after she's dead, because, dang it, she just likes knowing they are in there, wrapped in loads of plastic.

Do you have that same attitude about your stash?

I read about others' stashes all the time. People collect yarn like crazy and I always wonder if there are any other people like me out there. The kind that figures if they haven't yet knit it after a certain amount of time then it's time to sell it or give it away.

Personally, I am a bit of a hoarder and keeper. But after awhile, the hoarding and keeping gets depressing and it weighs me down. So then I go into a give-away mode.

I guess people will blanch when I say this, but the way I see it is: Its just stuff.

So the Prada goes to the Salvation Army. Some not-so-nice stuff will go along with it too. The eight pair of Gucci loafers I purchased when I used to make loads of money but never wear anymore? They're staying.

(But the Wollmeise? The Posh? The Bugga!? The Koiiiiiiiggguuuuu? They're staying too. For now, at least.)

BTW: An Indie Spinner-Dyer sent me a bag of her wonderful yarn. I haven't yet had a chance to try it out, but from the looks of it, let's just say I'm in love. For now, check out her NewHue Handspuns etsy store. Once I get a chance to knit a few swatches, I'll let you know!

Comments

[Heather]

YES! It's just stuff! There are some things that are harder to describe that way than others, but after losing many precious things over the years and over many moves, I have learned to say that. Few other mantras could possibly be as liberating.

[pixie]

I am saving most any of my dresses for my daughter to have fun playing dress up with! I wish my mom had dresses for me to try on growing up but she had ditched anything from her 20's long ago. So I am keeping the stuff from that "era". In particular the dress from my dress rehearsal dinner, it's soo cute I know she would love it. I went into Arden B. or one of those stores and got a crazy nearly fushia colored corset dress, something Brittany Spears would wear (when she has decent fashion people watching her back from disaster) with some matching amazing heels. I even have 1 or 2 from highschool/prom etc that while dated aren't that horrible and mostly she would just have fun trying on or hacking up for halloween or something.

I used to feel go guilty about buying yarn and wool. Now I don't buy wool because I have not spun in a while, so that's my rule if I am not "doing" something I can't buy supplies for it, but now that I design knitting patterns I feel MUCH more free to A) buy more expensive yarn (hey - it's a business investment right???) and B) far less shy about ditching the crap yarn or mistake purchases. I am also very comfortable giving it away if it's going to a loving home.

My best de-stashing was on the ravelry group: http://www.ravelry.com/groups/completely-pointless-and-arbitrary-swap

Not only did I get rid of stuff I wasn't ever going to knit with but I got some great stuff in exchange (including two fantastic Lexi Barnes bags!). I tended to participate in the "Bad Ass" swaps only which meant I could give up my more fancy yarn and get fancy stuff in return. Silk, Merino etc. I was on there for about a month, and then I was all swapped out. I'm sure I'll revisit in a year when I need to purge some more!

We recently sent 8 bags of clothing to the Salvation Army, I saved 2 bags of all my nicer stuff (Anne Taylor, Gap, Banana Republic - that's fancy here in Georgia!) for a good friend who is a teacher and doesn't make a lot and she took about 70% of it, and then the rest went on to SA.

[ch]

Anyone else reluctant to purge "good" stuff? Consider finding one of those charities that gets women w/o means (often post-women's-shelter) into interview suits for scoring that self-supporting job, and workwear for wearing to it. There are different ones in different cities/areas, or you can just give stuff directly to the women's shelter if they have space for it.

[Wendy]

Yes! That's a good idea Ch. I often give to the Battered Women's Shelter in the area. They need clothing and children's stuff, too.

[Clumsy Knitter]

Yes! I'm the same way with my "stuff". After a while, it loses value for me if it hasn't been used/I have no more use for it, etc. But I know it has value for other people, so I'm happy to give it to them. I love knowing that I have pared things down to the essentials.

[donna lee]

I clean the closet once in the spring and once in the fall. The rule is, if it didn't get worn that season, out it goes. That makes room for nice little pieces that I can add to keep the closet up to date.

I don't stash yarn much. I have a tote of sock yarn but not much else. I buy what I need for a project and then use it up. I would go crazy with lots of yarn sitting around. Now, the spinning fiber is a different story....

[Jeanne B.]

I dunno... my parents stuck me with an enormous stash of stuff as well as the job of cleaning it out, and my closest relations (sister, nieces) have lifted nary a finger to help. I'm half-tempted to let it all stay here, and hope they outlive me. HAHAHAHAHAAAAHHH! Then they will have to deal with triple the crapola.

But the yarn? The yarn goes with me.

[Kelley Petkun]

I did major de-stashing this winter and I have been so happy! Now I focus on what I "truly" love.

[Sarah]

I live in London now and have much less room for clothes, so I left some nice stuff that I just don't have space for back at my parents' place in NZ. I asked Mum to sell it to the secondhand shop across the road from my Nana's. What did she do? Donate it to her school's costume cupboard! Only of course the drama teacher liked my clothes so much she kept them. Thanks mum!

[lifexhistory]

I have a wedding dress in my closet from my defunct marriage. I'll never wear it as is again; but I won't give it away. That dress is pure perfection in every way.

(I am so weird, I know!)

[sioux]

the same thing happened to my sister-in-law a while ago: she had a garbage bag or two of clothes to go to the cleaners and my brother, thinking it was trash, threw. them. out. all her work clothes. all of them. luckily, she's easy going, but i would have blown a gasket!

[gay]

been trying to knit up some of my stash and what i knew i would'nt use i sold on ebay for dirt cheap. i get too stressed out having stuff around that is not getting use. same with shoes clothes and even jewelry...boots not so much unless the heels are too high for me then they go too. mostly i donate, some things i sell on ebay others i give away.

[gay]

oh and happy mothers day to you wendy.

[emy]

I haven't yet cleaned up my physical space but I am working on revamping my 4 year old blog -- things are still in a mess as some elements don't seem to work the way as I want.

But as least I am feeling much better already :)

[Ellen]

I understand all of what I have read....but...I tend to live by the "Packratter's Creed" (You never know....)
I have only been knitting for 15 months but I have accumulated a huge amount of yarn for my stash. I also have completed ~ 40 hats, ~10 pr. socks, ~10 scarves, 6 purses....I find I am unable to sanely drive past a yarn shop. I live in a very rural area, so I must drive 1-2 hrs. to find a one...
One way that I have found to purge some of my yarn is to give it away (with needles) while someone else learns to knit....I have found that my enthusiasm can be a motivator to others....
As far as chothes, etc. goes, I have been on a diet and have lost ~35#--when I reach my goal, I will donate those clothes to a thrift store (I love them also).
I tend to agree, the clothes and yarns are just 'stuff'...I love to share!!

[Chloe]

De-stash away!...and I will too - someday!
(Right now I'm also coping with tossing the Real Good Stuff!)

But mostly a very HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to you, Wendy! Aren't little girls the best? (Although I've heard tell that some moms adore their little boys, too!)

[erika]

hello I am looking forward to see you at the knitters studio. When you come, may I see your wollmeise too?? I love your book and can not wait until June 6!!!

[maggie]

Ooh. I obligated myself to have 'stuff' at the front door tomorrow. So, I have to go thru the kitchen stuff and all my household stuff in boxes downstairs tonight, just to have a pickup in the morning. When I told my dad, he said "We don't have anything to give" and I told him "Yes, we do!!!".

Haven't an idea what to do with all the sewing fabric and knitting yarn and needles. I have to tell myselft that all this clutter is not going away in a day.

[Kate]

My mother is a champion closet cleaner - I am not nearly as good as she is but yes, I do give away good stuff. The last of some tailored dress clothes pre-weight loss went to a younger co-worker who is 10-15 pounds from her goal weight and didn't want to buy too many new things. I just sold some stash yarn from an abandoned project because it was weighing me down - thinking I *should* do something with it, find it a project. Gone - get to buy something else.

As for the pickle eater, her children will be thrilled. ;-) One has a new appreciation for how stuff only means something to one person after cleaning the closets of a deceased loved one.

[Kristin]

I had a very similar closet experience last fall, following an enlightening conversation with my acupuncturist. I had worn my wedding ring in to my session on a chain around my neck, and of course that led to a conversation about how I'd outgrown it during my first pregnancy almost 7 years ago but had been too proud to have it resized. Lynn very gently asked me to consider what I was doing to myself by hanging on to all of that stuff...and I knew she was right. Two days and four garbage bags later I had almost nothing left in my closet...but I had a much lighter heart.

[Wendy]

Kristin, you said it all. You gave it all away, but you had a much lighter heart.

wow.

[Karen E]

I go through these phases. I just get sick of having so much stuff around and start packing up bags/boxes for donation. I think my aversion to becoming a packrat stems from my mom's hoarding ways. Haven't gone after the stash yet though. =) Or the knitting books or cookbooks. I do have a few sacred cows. heh

[Miz Booshay]

Oh boy! That yarn is pretty!

[Jennifer]

I have given away yarn that I purchased but didn't use. Someone else will always have a need for something you may never use. It felt good to give it to her--and I only asked that she pay it forward.

[June]

Yes, it's just Stuff. (Or, in a tougher world, it's just Money.) I'm not sentimental about my possessions, but I notice that I tend to keep things sometimes because I'm afraid whoever gave it to me will be offended if they find out I don't have it anymore. Ugh. But I do hang on to things that might someday be useful. I try to be realistic about how useful it would be, or whether I should get rid of it now and if in 5 years I need it, how much would it cost to buy it again.