When a sales guy who pops into the yarn shop bearing two boxes of those plastic candles with fake lights and ceremoniously takes one out and blows into it once to turn it on, and then blows in it twice to turn it off, what do you do?
Personally, I tend toward the "Getting Up from the Table and Pretending to Shop" routine.
Selling door-to-door takes a lot of guts, but I have to say, when your customer base happens to be a group of women kvetching about having to rip out four full inches of an huge afghan, be verrrrry careful when you just pop into the shop and try to sell (most likely stolen) goods.
We all told him we weren't interested, but he stuck around, even after blowing the "candle" on and off a couple times so we knew what we would be missing out on this evening, lollying about in our bathtubs next to our new plastic candles. And just before he finally walked out, he asked what we were crocheting, or if it were knitting that we were doing, instead?
I won't be sarcastic when I say this. I won't. But let me say: Significant others of those who knit or crochet and especially knitters who have to tink a huge amount do NOT want some sales guy standing over their shoulders blowing a fake candle on and off and telling them all about what they're missing out on. Let me tell you, We know what we are missing out on, and it is not a plastic candle we can blow once to turn it on and blow twice to turn it off.
So go ahead, Salesman. Make our day. Show us a fake plastic candle that you can blow on and off after watching one of us rip out FOUR inches of a HUGE afghan. I mean no disrespect, but go ahead and try to blow out your candle one more time next to one of our ears while we rip out our knitting. See what happens, mon frere. That's right; show us your plastic candle that can be blown on and off just one more time, and you might be missing a digit or two in about three seconds flat.
Speaking of digits. I have what I think are second degreee burns on three fingers of my left hand, which, If I were a thrower, wouldn't be a problem. But since I knit "the other way," I'm doomed. It had to do with chicken nuggets, a flimsy towel and an aluminum pan. The first night, I had my left hand in ice water. The next night, in gauze. Now, after a day of airing out my fingers, little chunks of skin are sloughing off and gooey stuff is exposed. Thank goodness Girlfriend's best friend's mom is a dermatologist who happened to care for my mom before she got sick. I'm seeing her tomorrow at a school picnic, which is probably too late to do too much.
Never a dull moment, my friends. Never a dull moment. Even though I will say, I wouldn't trade it for the world.