Too Many Yarns (and it isn't my fault)

I was just reading, in the latest David Sedaris novel (see sidebar if you're interested), about a friend and the mother of his friend who both had a worm poke through their skin--on separate occasions--while they lived in the Congo. I'm not sure what kind of worm it was that poked out, because I'm not that far through the chapter, but it sounds sort of gross to me.

Thing is, the real detail of the story says that one of the worms poked out of one of the victim's legs, and I suppose I can handle that, in theory. But on a slightly different topic--and I use the words "slightly different topic" loosely--I heard from the make-up gal from my photo shoot for the You-Know, Gigi, tell an almost entirely different account of a worm, and friends, brace yourselves, but know that this tale has a lot to do with the theme of the post and you must, you must, read through even though you might be prone to a bit of a stomach ache because if you have any knowledge at all of your yarn *just finding* itself onto your front doorstep or into your closet or pocket, or bag, or basement, or whatever unfilled vessel that resides in or near your home, then you will have to brace yourselves and read on. Trust me. (Nonetheless, this might be your ace in the pocket when explaining to your significant other where the heck all that yarn came from.)

So, after a few days with all of us together a year ago during the shoot, Gigi remarked that she had a French friend-of-a-friend who had a parasite. (Not sure if he were French, to tell you the truth, but let's just go with my story the way it is; otherwise, I will have to call her and I don't have her business card handy.)

She said to me, while we were under some sort of a large rectangular umbrella, that she was told that one of her friend-of-a-friends went to the toilet awhile back, looked down toward his behind, and there was a big worm-ish item looping up and looking back up at him. Literally staring at him. Not sure if the worm-item said "bonjour" or screamed, however...

Then, that man, her friend-of-a-friend, he hopped up off the stool and proceeded to run away from himself. In circles. And for all she knows, he's still running away from himself. I will say, however; she did remark that she and her friends drank a lot of wine while discussing the whole event so I'm not sure if he ran in circles or just ran straight ahead.

That's how I feel about all the yarn that has arrived at my front door in the recent days/weeks/whathaveyou.

Too. Much. Yarn. I have ordered and reordered and reordered, and Elann.com now knows when to send me stuff by Fuzzy Logic instead of me ordering the old-fashioned way, by internet. All I have to do these days is answer the door.

So, in my defense, and recalling the premise of the Congo worms and that particular tape-kind that just happened to climb out that guy's behind and proceeded to chase him around the room: Let's just say that, first, I'm not sure how the yarn got here in the first place, and second: I stand by my story that it must be some sort of virus, or maybe I travel too much and have some sort of yarn worm.

And just so you know that yarn up top: Scout custom dyed this yarn for me. It is an amazing washable sock weight that is destined to be a little shrug. I said I loved the Crayola Cornflower Blue and the Robin's Egg Blue color crayons and asked if she could blend them into something wonderful. The item I want to make is the shrug from this month's Knitty. It's called Sheltand Shorty. I cannot wait to cast on. If you are dying for some fingering weight yarn for the same pattern, you now know who to call.

P.S. I have two patterns in the latest Knitscene, the one that will hit newstands and book stores in the next few weeks. Go check them out!

Comments

[Taryn]

I'll bet that worm that David Sedaris was talking about was the Guinea worm. I know this because as a child I was obsessed with reading about that worm in my Encyclopedia Britannica health edition (Don't ask... I was just a strange kid). It has been a huge problem in Africa over the years and yes, the worm exits through your skin and it is VERY painful. It's crippling in fact. For some reason it prefers to come out of a woman through her boobs. What a jerk, right?

[yoel]

I'd never thought of yarn as parasitic, but that's actually pretty accurate!

ps - the worm that came out of the French friend was probably Ascaris. Get the barf bucket ready and look on google images.

[Cynthia]

On the same gross imagery theme, read the article on Itching in the latest New Yorker...just the first page and a bit and it'll be enough.

[NancyDrew]

I'm in the midst of listening to When You're Engulfed in Flames - the listening to allows me to knit and "read" at the same time. David Sedaris is my all-time favorite author (I've seen him in person twice) and I am howling with laughter as I knit. I'm a bit further into the book than you are and let me just say that you will most likely enjoy the chapter regarding his flight to Raleigh lots, lots, lots.

Ewwwww on the worms.

[KnittingKel]

Yuck! Those worms really sound nasty. I love the blue yarn, it is Gorgeous! I see that you are reading Anthony Bourdain: Kitchen Confidential. I loved that book! Really makes you think about going out to eat.

[margaux]

just saw your patterns! Love them!!!

that worm story... really gross. glad the worm got out though ;-)

[Patty]

I almost lost my breakfast but I made it - so I get to say Congrats! on the Knitscene patterns. I'm off to check 'em out.

[Amby]

LOL...I saw something like that on one of those gross true medical story shows...dude was using the bathroom and noticed that a tapeworm he didn't know he had was, um, on its way out. He called his wife who pulled the whole thing out of his hind end. That's true love right there..."Honey, I love you enough to pull a tapeworm out of your butt!"

[Kathleen]

My father was always telling us horrible stories about tape worms when we were kids, I don't know why, but still your story brought back those memories, not exactly fuzzy warm memories either. Anyways, love the yarn, Scout is so talented.

[Kari]

I love your arched eyebrows... they make me think you're planning something diabolical with that yummy yarn! :D

[Darlene]

wendy
LMAO!!! like always...after reading your blog. i love the robbin's egg-ish blue hand dyed, i too hand dyed a few hanks of yarn for upcoming projects. i had to check out the knitscene previews and i love both patterns! bravo, on such great garments. i think i will have to pick a copy up and whip up some cables!

d

[Helen]

Congrats on the patterns. Love them both.

[MonkeyGurrl]

I always thought having a tapeworm would be cool - you could eat all you want and not gain a pound. *Butt*, I never considered the exit. EWWWWWWWW.

And, the juxtaposition of all your beautiful (and bountiful) fibery goodness with something as grossly disgusting as parasites makes me love you more. Cuz I'm nuts like that.

[Karen]

I saw the preview yesterday. Looked at the first sweater and loved it. Looked at your name as the designer and went "Duh, of cource I love it...Wendy designed it"!

[sue Treiber]

gross, and yet funny at the same time!

[Mary]

Love the new patterns. Your a genius!

[Jeanie]

I saw David Sedaris last night! It's a bit ironic you posted about him yesterday. I bought his new book (although I haven't read it), but I had to wait 2.5 hours in line for him to sign. :-(

[Jen!]

I've researched those Congo worms for real. You have to slowly twist them around a stick to get them out all the way. Ugh. ..and OW!

[Suse the slow knitta]

tape worms are vile! I remeber in one of the House episodes he realised that the patient had a tapeworm and while he was being operatied on pulled the worm out of his gut. the worm was enormous and the med staff started taking pictures of it on their mobiles ( yeuch!) Fascinating, but I could never be a nurse or a doctor!

[Hannah]

Oh my god I hate worms.

And I love that yarn.

[Jennie]

I heard a while back that models will swallow tape worms whole to lose weight...
That is what I call desperation.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the shrug and your color choice for yarn. I may need to order from Scout and then let's start a knit along!

[Maureen J.]

I remember (this will hint how old I am) there was a rumor that Maria Callas lost her excess weight by having a tapeworm, um , installed.

On the brighter side, the Opulent Raglan is really lovely. I must make it, but have to find some yarn that is wearable in Southern Cal, and that's beautiful.

And I need to get a good bra for that one.

[Wendy]

Maureen, you might try something like the Skinny Cotton by Blue Sky Alpacas and adjusting the neckline upwards due to the cotton content!

[Chloe]

Have you ever had a parent tell you about their kid? With pin worms? Awesome.

[Wendy S]

And here I was, wondering who would be interested in today's (July 1) New York Times article about hookworms. Possibly this is an article for those who crochet?