A New Word or Phrase for You

Now, if I could sing, I would sing Mariachi, all soulful and whatnot. That's what I would sing. Seriously. That's what I would sing. Never mind I don't really know Spanish, although come to think of it, our new gardener Arturo gave me a great compliment the other day along with a wink when he said, "you understand my language, don't you?" and I said "Si."

Then, instead of Arturo, George showed up and proceeded to speak to me in Spanish only and my eyes crossed. Seems I must be a great salesperson because Arturo felt his non-English speaking nephew could come to my house in his place. Worse, at one point, I told George (pronounced "HorHay" if you're in the know), that my "Esposa" would fix the sprinkler, so he didn't need to. Then, he hopped up and looked at me strangely. My error! I think I said "my wife" (esposa) instead of "my husband" (esposo) and it must have hit him: "No wonder she doesn't share what I thought was her husband's last name! It must be that Wendy has a wife or girlfriend hiding upstairs somewhere and that cool looking Chinese guy with the long hair who has handed me a check or two with a different last name than hers must be a renter! Oh Si! Buena! or, Ella besa a las ninas!"

Maybe I should just keep the whole charade going. That will assure that Arturo and George will be here every Wednesday without fail. I'll be sure to wear a lot of lipstick, too.

Today was our second week of days with an extra hour of light. To celebrate, we went to a local farm and picked vegetables. A lot of beets and some escarole, artichokes, avocados and four strawberries (they weren't quite ripe yet). Our neighbor was there, picking vegetables, too, and she's really cool, except she took me off guard when she remarked that Rock-o must be a really old guy due to his sprinkling of gray hair. HWWV said, "no, he's only 10 months old. He was born like that." And she said, "You adopted him. They probably gave you an old dog. I know a gray hair when I see it."

I guess we'll never know. (Kinda like the time we rescued a male cat and named him "Vincenzo," and then, after Vinnie gave birth under HWWV's bed, we renamed him "Lois." I guess you never really do know. Her girls were named Myrtle and Gwen.)

BTW: I have to confess I wonder why people talk about yarn and say things like they "fondle" yarn or "manhandle" it or "grab" it, or do all other manner of things to yarn. What's up with that, folks? Why oh why all that nasty nasty? I like yarn as much or more than anyone else, but when I hear that someone has been rubbing it or sniffing it or squeezing it, or refers to it as yarn Pr0n, I have to confess my eggs dry up a little bit. It's just so cheesy to me.

The yarn up top represents the three colors I chose for a garment I'm designing for Blue Sky Alpacas with their new Skinny Cotton, something I'll be talking about on a new-ish TV show called "Knitting Daily TV." (The free pattern will be available at Interweave.com.) Its a girl's tank and this particular yarn is perfect for it. Amazing stuff, and the colors are fantastic. I would say, "yummy" out loud, even though the colors really are, but I can't bring myself to actually say the word, "yummy," (it sort of falls into the category of "grapple," "fondle," and "squeeze," if you ask me).

Let's be official and just say: The sh*t, oops, I mean, "fraber*" is amazing; it looks a triple dip, ya'll!

*I made up "fraber." I guess I was just hoping it'll sound nasty enough without sounding too cheesy.

Comments

[jill]

Wendy, when is your book being released?

[Wendy]

Late Summer. . .

[Kelly]

People are completely nuts with their ridiculous opinions about dogs. Someone told me that my beagle (20 pounds) must have been mixed with a german shepherd because she has very little white on her. She's mostly black and tan. I rolled my eyes and walked away. Your dog is clearly a puppy. You can tell in the pix of Girlfriend running with him. He's adorable, by the way!

[Wanda]

If you can't say it, I'll say it, Yummy yarn! It's true, even if you can't say it. Oh well! :-)

[marycatharine]

Umm... grapple? Do people really claim to grapple yarn? That freaks me out way more than fondle or even the whole sniffing sub-genre.

[Jeanette]

Now I'm curious, why didn't you take your husband's last name?

[Jennie]

Apparently your neighbor has never seen a salt and pepper colored schnauzer. You have told he's a mutt, right? Well maybe he has grey schnauzer in his background.
Also, if you really want to find out have your vet look at his teeth. They can tell an animals age by his teeth.
In fact a 10 month old pup probably still has baby teeth, have a look in his mouth, you may be able to tell!
Go for it!
I'll say it for you, the colors you chose are yummy! ;)

[Denise]

Wow an expert in gray hairs, she must feel very proud!
I agree, the vet can definitely tell you the age better.
Love the yarn, can't wait to hear/see more about it.

[Rachel]

Ha ha, perhaps I can explain the yarn porn thing. See, it all has to do with accessibility.

For women like me, with VERY LOW yarn budgets, acrylic is pretty much the everyday fare. Therefore, in the once-a-blue-moon cycle that we do get the luxurious opportunity to touch some actual wool (ooh, must stop drooling now), it's a heavenly experience. For a "really nice sweater" I can expect to pay out about $30. That's the limit of my budget allowances. See, that's why it's so nice to drool over real yarn every once in awhile.

Of course, this is made worse by the fact that the nearest yarn store is 45 minutes away, and I don't have a vehicle during the day. *Sigh*. It's a good thing I really love my life, or I'd crawl in a hole and cry, ha ha!

[darlene]

grey haired dog subject matter experts are quite accurate, even more knowledgeable than vets or breeders.....ha!(what a bunch of hooie)
and i am very guilty of yarn p0rn language but i have NEVER used grapple. that just sounds wrong.

[rita]

But, uh, I work for Claudia Hand Painted Yarns and after my "real" job I get to go to her place and shove my face (I wipe the chocolate off first) into a freshly dyed and rinsed in Downey hank of yarn and I'm in heaven. I dare you to walk into her drying room and see the colors and variety of yarn and smell that freshness and not want to get all hot and bothered about it.

*ahem*

I'm a lot older than you.

[Katherine]

I must confess to fondling, caressing and petting yarn as often as possible. I just like the feel of yarn in my hands and on my skin, and the smell of it, and the colors, and how it performs...excuse me while a get a grip here. I love all aspects of knitting, and yarn is certainly a big part of the whole picture.

[flutter]

LOL all soulful and whatnot....

[Melissa]

Nice yarn can really have visual and tactile appeal, and I think sometimes people use over-the-top language to make this point. Still, it seems odd to me to hear people talk about yarn with passionate phrases that would be TMI if they were talking about a significant other.

I also have a different last name than my husband. It drives me nuts when people who know me insist on calling me "Mrs. My-Last-Name" because I'm married. Was I just imagining "Ms."--the title that any woman could choose regardless of marital status? And isn't it polite and sensible to address people in the manner they prefer?

[Wendy]

Melissa, what people do for me is hyphenate my name with his. I always wondered why they do that without my informing them that's what I call myself. I just never used his name. No big deal! (And he doesn't really care either way.)

[Jen]

I've got no problem with people fondling yarn--that is, in fact, what we're doing when we touch it and decide if we like it, right? But I'm with you on the sniffing.

[MonkeyGurrl]

I'm a hyphenate, but I made him change his last name first (it was Gross - LITERALLY). We've been marred 10 years, and it still weirds me out when someone refers to me as "Mrs." anything.

As for the greying, someone said that about our rescue, too. I tell you what - if I were an old dog (which, I guess, I am) and I had HALF Monkeydog's energy, I'd be a veritable dynamo.

[MonkeyGurrl]

Btw, I would totally fondle that sky blue Blue Sky. Eeet's gorrrrrgeous.

[Knitting Nettie]

Our Scottie is a "brindle". He has the black and tan look of your new puppy, and Yancy was born that way.
When we have him groomed with his back short and a nice fluffy skirt around the bottom, his back looks nearly zebra striped with the black and tan.

I call my husband a brindle now too! hehehe

[Brett]

HWWV has his own bed??

[Tiny Tyrant]

Tell your neighbor to stuff it.

Hair isn't the only way to tell the age of a dog. If that were the case our newest addition (who's about 2 years old) would be ancient.

Ignore her and enjoy him. He's a doll.

[Alexandra]

"fondle" is up there with "moist" on the list of words that make me want to go scrub myself clean after hearing them. And in conjunction with yarn, it's just icky. Yuck.

[Michaela]

We've got a schnoxie (schnauzer-doxie) whose father was a silver schnauzer. He looks JUST like Rock-o and he was born with grey hair sprinkled throughout. Now it's all over him and he looks like an old man-dog. His name is Rowdy.

[Michaela]

P.S. I fondle my yarn. Touch and smell are very sensual. I don't run around the house naked waving it around or anything, though!

[Ninabeena]

It's funny I've actually tried to use these very yarn trendy words and just thought I sounded dumb or goofy. Just not my style, I guess. I more or less thought maybe I just wasn't dedicated to yarn enough to be all up in here saying " yarn prn" "yummy" etc etc. now i feel better.