Getting Older and Dumber

I used to go to a chiropractor who had won an Olympic medal for swimming. I mean, it was difficult not to notice, what with all those pictures of him in his Speedo splashed all over the joint. The gals in the waiting room (and there were always lots of them) would sort of sit there and size each other up. Not sure why, but I always suspected there was a bit of competition going on for a doctor's pet. He was good looking as all get out, but his being several years old than me, I never gave any of that stuff a second thought.

Oh, the times have changed.

As I lay there on the table this morning with my left leg up on my new and very young chiropractor's shoulder, his body pressing toward me and his thumb jabbing into my thigh crease, the only thing I could think to say was: "So! Do some of your patients grunt and groan a lot?"

And then I made the situation worse: "Come to think of it, heh, there was this old guy at the yoga place the the other day. He moaned throughout the entire practice, I mean he really grunted like, loud, you know? So I kept on trying to catch the instructor's eye, hoping the two of us could get a private giggle about the Groaner.  All practice long, whenever he'd let one rip, I'd give her a wink on the down-low, but she never responded! Then, after class, I Iooked on over and saw her and the Groaner embracing. Turns out, they're pals. Heh heh. The Groaner and the instructor were friends! Isn't that a hoot?"

I tell you what, the older I get, the dumber I get.

And speaking of even dumber: Remember how I complained of hip pain about a year ago? Being older and dumber, I kept on sitting with bad posture while knitting and working on the book in spite of the pain. Now that I finally dragged myself to the doctor we're discovering how much damage I have done. At this point, I can't work out (believe me, I'll probably drag myself back to the gym before I get the official "yes" from the doc), I can't do yoga; I can't even walk except for a limp-ridden stroll around the block once a day. Friends: When knitting, do yourself a favor and sit correctly. Take it from me, "Mrs. Piriformis Syndrome-Nerve Damage-Older and Dumber," if you sit for long periods of time knitting, get up, walk around, and sit back down, properly.

But here's a good thing: DK weight Premium Hand Dyed Yarn from Avery Allison Yarns. It's new and it'll knit up super quick on size 5-7 needles into some nifty socks. I think I'll do stripes with these two colorways, Herb and Iris. Very, very cool. (They're having a special, free shipping with orders over $60.00 until March 21st.)

Comments

[diane]

So how does one sit properly? I've been doing it for a long time, but not sure I'm doing it right. My hips have been making themselves well known lately... makes me wonder if I'm doing something wrong.

[Mellanie]

My sympathies on the piriformis. My mom has this and I know it's really painful. The shots have helped her quite a bit.

[Cashmere Addict]

I love love love that yarn. I'm going to go get some, right now... because I'm a sock addict, and any yarn that will make socks on #5 or #7 needles sounds great (usually I'm on 1's and 2's).

Sending positive thoughts for your hip. I can feel your antsy-ness (is that even a word??) as I too was told I couldn't work out or walk a lot when I hurt my knee by running too much and with a bad stride. The knee is much better now, and the elliptical machine is my best friend!

Have a gin and tonic... I'll have one tonight and toast to good posture. :-)

[cara]

I had hip pain for a full year. Went to the chiropracter lots, did my exercises, and it never really went away. Then she suggested sitting on an exercise ball instead of an office chair and the pain has totally gone away.

[Yenni]

hehehe I can say embarrassing things like that.. I think I made my husband embarrassed saying something to our doctor the other day in fact. It does seem to get worse with age..

Hope you get better soon. Thanks for the tip on sitting properly. What ever properly is when knitting.. :oP
Nice yarn.
(I meant to thank you for pointing me into the direction of using 2 circulars for knitting sock. I am hooked.)

[Megan]

Free shipping on gorgeous yarn? Get thee behind me Satan! (And I have been so good about my stash diet...till now...)

As far as sitting and knitting, I have taken to using my exercise ball. I balance and lift up my feet...abs workout and knitting simultaneously! What could be better?

[Wendy]

I shouldn't have gotten rid of my balance ball!

[darlene]

oh wendy....that really sucks. my boss man went on vacation and when he came back he was all sciatica weird. i was teasing him saying he shouldn't have be working so hard the last few days (after returning from his vaca). then @ lunch one of my pals said, did you hear "mr boss man" just got back from hedo?!? talk about dumb on my part. stuff just falls out of my mouth- really dumb stuff! i hope that muscle/nerve thing calms down enough for you to get back to the old you!

[Wendy]

What's Hedo?!

[rudee]

I have 2 herniated discs AND pyriformis syndrome. I herniated the discs half way through the breast cancer 3 day. Thought the pain was simply my ass aching from muscle over use AND WALKED ANOTHER 30 MILES. 2 days after the event, I was dragging my leg when I walked and had nerve pain to my toes. I have found in 3 years of chronic pain that nothing works like deep stretching and yoga and a TENS unit.

[Maureen]

Tens unit didn't help me much, but one of those large gel-filled ice packs does. Heat may feel good, but ice actually has anti-inflammatory effect, which is great because I can't take any of the anti-inflammatory drugs.

[elizabeth m]

So sorry you're in pain! I'd tell you my funny/embarrassing thing I said to a doctor once, but I don't want to share it with the whole world. And it'll take more time to type than I can stay awake right now.

Get better soon!

[PainterWoman]

Thanks for the heads up on the syndrome. I've got joint and leg pain too, but I think it's more to do with side-effects of Tamoxifen and Lipitor. I hope your "damage" can be repaired.

[pot stirrer]

I think Hedo is short for Club hedonism....when you want to go crazy and act all young and sexy. Maybe. Yes ,yes the moaning is too much, or the busting out crying somewhere in the room. It is yoga practice for self-control. I doubt I keep a straight face, I don't know because I can't get anywhere near the mirrored wall (pros only I guess) I am too bashful to let goo-o-o-0 like some characters in class. Wondrous variety. Thanks for warning us about the dangers of knitting. I hope it's not too late

[Debbie]

Oh I hope he's got you doing the Figure Four stretch. I usually have to do moist heat, ultrasound, trigger point release on my patients and then have them stretch either laying down (they are truly old) or if they are flexible doing the figure four in sitting. Good Luck!

[Theresa]

You might try acupunture for the pain. I have undifferentiated spondylarthopathy and have lots of trouble with hips/back. The acupuncture seems to help (and I was a non-believer).

[Michelle]

OMG OMG, I do believe you've just diagnosed me. I've been living with this yucky hip/butt pain for about 9 months now, and thought I was just getting old, but I do believe it is the compression from sitting and knitting!!!! Thank you, now I'll try to change it ;>

[Tracey]

Hmmm, thanks for the tip on the yarny goodness.

[rita]

Good grief, I'd forgotten about that! I've had that piriformis crap for at least 10 years. A friend who's a massage therapist did the trigger point release (and showed me how to go it, like I could reach it, let alone press hard on it, at my age and shape), then massaged hard the muscle spasm. She told me to take a rounded rock, or my fist, and rub that spasm whenever it happened, and it really has worked well. It never occurred to me that it could be caused by the way I sit to read and to knit.

[lisa]

Did your old chiropractor move to VA? We have one in town that was an olympic swimmer and he has lived here for only a couple years? So sorry for your pain. But glad to hear others have some of the same symptoms I'm having and was thinking it was aging - now I know I'm not getting old, just knitting too much (if that's possible!)

[donna lee]

Older isn't equalling wiser here either. You'd think we'd learn...

[MonkeyGurrl]

Ah, you young'uns with your whining and moaning and verbal diarrhea.

Why, in my day, we had to WALK to the chiropractor's office, in the snow, with holes in our shoes, and it was up hill, BOTH WAYS.

[Knitting Nettie]

When I was younger my mom had a best friend whose house we would go to almost daily. They would pour soda into their coffee cups so they could drink it without all us kids asking to have some.

Anyway, on the back of the laundry room door, Taunie had this life sized poster of Mark Spitz! I don't recall my age, but young, yet somehow I knew that this was slightly naughty and I would sneak in and stare at him. All Mark Spitzy in his red, white and blue speedo with those medals fanned out across his chest.

Now that I am grown I have a picture of Aragon in my laundry! Yumm!!

[MonkeyGurrl]

I know its probably stuff you already know, but I thought this post was timely: http://justcallmeruby.blogspot.com/2008/03/rsi.html

[Na Na Nancy]

Just saying hi from "the other side of the world" on a friday night... hope all is well in la la land.