knit and tonic

whoops

When it comes to a few things regarding knitting, needles, yarn and stitches, I sometimes break rules. But in life, I almost always follow the rules; at least I try to. So, why is it, I've been taking Girlfriend to the same school for two years in a row and happily parking all over the busy joint, including in the reserved spaces, the ones boldly labeled "Principal," or "Kitchen Manager" and never thought twice? Could it be that each time I broke that rule and didn't get reprimanded that it reinforced something inside me that said, "See? Those bright yellow cement things with those names painted on them mean nothing!" Or, "It must be that those names painted there are for people no longer working here, yeah!"

Anyway. I nearly got slapped by the Computer Teacher yesterday morning.

When I came back from dropping Girlfriend off at the school playground, I noticed a car doubled parked in back of mine. My eyes widened, my mouth went into a big "O" and I looked over at the Kiss and Drop-Off Attendant and said, "Oooooh. Someone must have run out of gas behind my car."

"Nope," she said,  "You parked in the Computer Teacher's reserved parking spot."

Five minutes later, the Computer Teacher, the one I thought was so sweet on Back to School Night stomped down into the parking lot, and just as she swooped into her car, I cowered a little and said, "I'm so sorry; this must happen to you all the time." Then, with a scowl, she grunted: "Actually, this is the first."

The wind from her slamming door nearly knocked me over.

Oh, and add to that I went shoe shopping and the only ones I was drawn to were the orthopedic type.

Now, I just have to decide what kind of sleeves this cashmere number needs. I wonder if I should take a day or two off, to recharge, instead? (The brioche stitch strip will be attached just under the bust. It'll act like a belt. And I just love that tortoise belt buckle. Pattern will be available soon.)

Knitter's Line--Do Not Cross Weekend Edition

Knitters from all over the world have submitted their very own Knitter's Line--Do Not Cross stories. As always, it's a hoot to read about other's tribulations and trials--because we all know that being a knitter or hand-crafter is a tough road to hoe--heh. At any rate, enjoy. I'll start with my own most recent story. The rest are from readers. I fiddled a little bit with the stories here, but for the most part, they ring true.

October 17th, 2007: Knitter is taken aside by a crazy pickle-eater perp who lives at the LYS on Tuesdays and Thursdays (the jury is still out about where she sits on the other days of the week although it has been said there's a coffee shop across town still trying to burn the coffee on her particular days). Perp informs knitter that it would be a much better idea if she pursued something else, not knit design. "You'll never make any money with your plain patterns; you need to add some pizazz, you know, a little fringe or maybe more stripes if you think someone is going to buy a pattern or two."

September 12, 2007 (and probably every single day somewhere in some knitter’s world): A know-it-all, which shall henceforth be named, “non-knitter who just doesn't get it” informs a sock knitter that they can buy a pack of three pair for six-fifty. Victim replies: “Yeah, I know, but the ones that cost six-fifty wouldn’t have this nifty fake jacquard pattern, now, would they?” (Amy sent this one.)

Katie in Wisconsin endured the nearly unforgivable on September 20th when two female suspects, a mother-daughter team ages 35 and 3, committed the unspeakable crime of using Expert Knitter and Doting Grandma’s gorgeous layette set for the soon-to-be-born baby brother as doll clothes. Not to mention another one of a kind cabled baby blanket designed by the grandma that the cat decided to take over. A confession was obtained via an e-mail “thank you” note, in which the elder suspect admitted the tragic fate of these precious family heirlooms. In her defense, she maintains that the cat is staying very “warm and cozy.” No word on whether or not the newborn baby brother will get the bedraggled hand-me-downs when he finally makes his appearance on the scene.

September 14, 2007: Victim reports she was knitting a sock while on lunch break. Suspect approached victim and stated: “You knit? I just can’t picture you knitting.” Victim checks the sharpness of her needles and realizes they aren’t as sharp as the new lace Addi’s and relaxes her hackles. (Mikki, stringattack.blogspot.com)

September 29th, 2007: Victim, male, age 19, encountered female suspect, age 56 or thereabouts (you never can tell) who needs some knitting help. He offers it, she snorts and requests female help, instead. Victim shrugs and purchases an extra sixteen skeins of the bulky hand-painted, and says "Lady, you don't know what you're missing." (Sorry, Aiden, I embellished your story.)

September 30, 2007: English knitter Penelope states she was approached for the thousandth time with the question, “Oh you knit? Do you make tea cosies?” Instead of slapping perps, she now insists they visit the Naughty Knits web site.

Sweating it out in an Orange Sweater

No, the trucks aren't in front of my home today. This picture was taken a few years ago at about the same time of year and I think this orange number (Karabella Aurora 8) was one of the first stabs I took at designing. I kept having trouble with the collar. First it looked like a clown collar, then it became this Spock-ish mock neck, which I like. I wonder why I never wear it. I guess it could be that by the time the weather is cold enough to wear an orange sweater, the thought of another pumpkin or yam is enough to send you over the edge. Sheesh, there's Christmas stuff sitting right next to the Halloween stuff at the drug store. Next thing I know, I'll knit a green sweater and refuse to wear it, too (Oops. I have a green sweater on the needles right about now).

So what is it about knitting something that makes you think of something and then you won't wear it? Or what is it about knitting something and accidentally purling just one stitch instead of knitting it and you won't wear it? Or what is it about knitting a freakin' fantastic hoopla of a sweater and darn it, you won't wear that one either because it's too hot or you're just sweating because of some strange hormonal thing or nerves?

I just came home from a dinner with two other friends. We've known each other since we were just turning 30 and now that we're married and the children are growing, we still sit down and talk every once in awhile. The one to my left this evening, Shelly, after our conversation about hot flashes and some other things like botox and neck lifts (my other friend is married to a plastic surgeon), she asked me how my "needlepoint business" was going.

"It's a Knitting thing," I said, "but I don't know if I would call it a business, and it's going well."

She then asked me what kind of knitting I did and I told her, "sweaters." Then she let me know that she never wears them. I told her that I don't wear them, either.

I think I need to move to Alaska or something. I just heard from another old friend, Boom-Boom, who lived there for three years. She says they have some smokin' hot Kundalini Yoga classes in case I'm interested.

BTW: Thank you, friends, for checking up on me and sending me emails when I was afraid of the fires. We are fine, they never came close. I was just scared.

What to Take

Not much knitting going on the past couple a days. I did finish this sock monkey for Girlfriend's Christmas gift, though. It was the only thing I could concentrate on other than those dang fires. The wind is a real trash mover, too, let me tell you. I usually reserve that term to describe a particularly nasty rain storm, but since I no longer live in Houston and we rarely have any kind of rain in these parts, I thought I'd make a transfer in terms and call the windy conditions we're having a Real Trash Mover.

We have a fire in the canyons across the street from us nearly every year. And nearly every year we have a scare like this and have discussions about what we'd take with us. Last year, we packed up all our photos--a couple boxes' worth--a couple changes of clothing, my jewelry and a few other things. A couple days ago, I threw clothing and a pair of shoes for each of us, and my medication into a laundry basket and it's sitting by the back door, by the garage. I've contemplated adding a few other items, maybe some of my favorite yarn, needles and whatnot, but if I started doing that, pretty soon I'll have to call up a tow truck to help me transfer all the loot.

So, for today, I'll say that if we have to leave, I'll grab Chuck and that nearly empty laundry basket. Maybe I'll grab the sock monkey, too. Other than that, it can all go up in flames. I have years and years to amass more yarn, needles and whatnot.

BTW: I got the sock monkey kit at sockmonkeyfun.com

EDITED TO ADD: After I wrote this post, I decided I'd finally leave my fire look-out perch and go to the LYS. One of the older gals came in and the clerk said: "Hey, how do you like your new tub?"

I said, "New tub? You got a new tub?"

She said, "Yeah, one of those jobs that have that door on the side; you know, the type of tub you walk into. My kids, they bought me one so I wouldn't trip in it and hurt my hip again."

So the clerk says: "Do you like it?"

"I can't stand it! I have to walk into it, shut the door and sit there freezing my balls off until the water fills up. Then, when I'm done, I have to sit there, freezing my balls off until the water runs out."

Things are looking up. Life is good.

Cold Necks, Nuts and Crayolas

A few weeks ago, I had an email exchange with the wonderfully talented Meg Swansen (of Schoolhouse Press and daughter of the late and great Elizabeth Zimmermann).

I don't normally have the luck to exchange emails with famous people but I had to send her a note asking if what I was writing in my you-know was accurate. It had to do with Elizabeth's EPS System. In the missive I was sharing with her, I mentioned to my future readers that adding short rows to the back of a sweater wasn't always necessary, especially if you're after a particular shoulder-sweeping look.

"About the short rows" she replied. "Wouldn't one suffer from a cold neck if they were omitted?"

Ugh.

I guess she's right. I changed my text because she's right. If you were to knit the sweater my way, you'd get a cold neck.

Thing is, the last thing I ever consider when knitting a sweater is a potentially cold neck. Heck, if I had a cold neck more than 10 times in my lifetime, I might think about designing a sweater that covers the neck area. But since its over 80 degrees today and this new scarf is nearly sending me into a series of premature hot flashes, today will not be the day I will consider cold necks when writing up a new sweater pattern (the one I'm currently working on is made of cashmere but ends just below the bust. Oh no: Potentially cold belly.)

Seriously though. I bet Meg Swansen thinks I'm some sort of a nut.

Add to that, the last time I was at the LYS discussing a sweater project I was working on, a sweater coat with short sleeves, the first thing that popped out of my favorite clerk's mouth was: "What's the point in a knitting a coat with short sleeves?" (I know she thinks I'm some sort of a nut, too, so if there are two people that think I'm a nut instead of just one then life isn't so bad.)

This is the scarf that I made with the Brioche stitch. It only took one skein of the Araucania Aysen. I know I said I'd keep the other skein, but since this one came out so well, I thought I'd exchange the extra one for a new and different color. I'll make another scarf for another time when wearing a scarf will send me into another hormonal fugue.

BTW: Just bought a brand new box of 96 Crayola Crayons. I'm dying to dig in.

Oh, and if you want to make a scarf with one skein of this yarn, just cast on 30 stitches and work Brioche stitch as described a few days ago until you're nearly out of yarn. Bind off loosely and be fabulous.

Gilding the Lily

I have this theory that many people and dogs will do things simply because they can. I mention dogs this evening only because I just took Chuck on a walk and even though he lives by a two-poops-a-day rule (always 12 hours after his last meal), you better believe it, if he's on a walk at a time when it's not his "time," he'll eek out a poop just because he can. I think he secretly thinks he's impressing me, but if that's the case, he's got it all wrong. Too many poops can make a dog owner think twice about taking a dog on a walk during a time that's not his "time."

I feel the same way about a lot of other things. Give some home dwellers 17 inches of bare wall and they'll fill it up with something. A doily. A golf ball collection, a smattering of this and that. Even some people like me who enjoy a pretty garden have a problem with sowing too many random seeds and not planning out the whole thing. My backyard is such a mess, only hiring a professional will do. Trust me, nothing short of Martha Stewart on a rampage and a dump truck the size of Houston will fix the mess I've got going on out there.

So this is where I'm going: I like the cables. I like colorwork. Give me ribs, twisted stitches and stripes. Got lace? I can deal. (All in small-ish doses.)

Oh, but I have a rash tonight. I just leafed through one of the more recent knitting magazines, and I tell you what, if I see another multi-colored, geometric-motif coat, sweater, shrug, hat or doo-dad, I will expire.

On the High Neck Cable with the Blue Sky Suri Merino: To. Die. For.

BTW: In the past, I would have said that Kaffe Fassett falls into a too-too much this-and-that category for me, but I have to admit that I haven't ever really sat down and studied his work. His latest book, Kaffe Fassett: Kaffe Knits Again (see sidebar below, left), is a great book. If you're a die-hard fan, you may have already come across some of the designs in this book, but since I haven't spent much time with his work, I am enjoying it as if it were all new. I love how he works with color and even though I don't knit a lot of multi-colored stuff, the way he blends tones and hues is an inspiration. Definitely well thought out and executed. (And not just because he can.)

Panic About The Stitch Below

I was having lunch the other day with my friend, the one whose cousin plays guitar with his toes, and she said to me, "you and your husband, you're totally illiterate compared to me when it comes to computers and such. Do you think you'd be willing to help me make a business card?"

I looked at her for a second and then I remembered that she had a knack for malapropisms and quickly corrected her: "did you mean to say that we're more literate than you on the computer?"

"No, I didn't mean that. What I meant was, you wouldn't misspell anything."

So then she requested a taste of the two white zin's on the menu before deciding on her drink (we were at Applebee's), and then we got down to the usual discussion that gals usually discuss. This day, it was about fears. I admitted to her that I had developed a phobia of driving. I told her that for some reason, after about five minutes behind the wheel I had this thing where I'd think I would accidentally drive off the road and then I wouldn't be able to take Girlfriend to school. She gave me a meaningful look, squeezed my hand, and told the waitress that we'd both have cheeseburgers, not rare, but "medium light" instead.

I was afraid of driving until very recently. Something irrational clicked inside me and then I couldn't drive. I don't know why. And tonight, after thinking about the whole fear thing, I can't really point to too many other things that scare me, except for knitting into the stitch below.

I know, it sounds sort of crazy, but as much as I like the Brioche stitch, whenever I researched it, it seemed that one would have to knit into a stitch below in order to do the Brioche. I kept researching, however; and I found that you could do the Brioche by doing a series of yarn overs and knitting them together. It's a little cumbersome, but it works.

Today, I decided that I would drive without fear and do the Brioche stitch by knitting into the stitch below (with a little help from my doctor and a delightful pharmacist) and it works beautifully, plus it is a lot easier than the "other way."

Knitting into the Stitch Below, Brioche Style

• Cast on an even number of stitches
• Row 1: Knit one row
• Row 2: *Knit one, knit one stitch below the next stitch, repeat from the * to the last two stitches, knit two.
• After you knit the stitch below, slip the upper stitch off the needles along with the stitch you just knit below.
• Repeat the second row for the pattern.

You gotta laugh when it comes down to it. There was nothing at all to be afraid of. I just needed to give it a shot.

This is the Araucania Aysen, which is a handpainted blend of merino, silk and angora. I have two skeins and I am wondering if I will need only one to complete this Brioche stitch scarf (which doesn't roll, by the way). I don't want to return the other skein, so maybe I will be making a hat or mittens, too, but I'll be sure to give away one or two of the items for fear I'll wear them all at once and draw too much hand-knit attention.

Unclench, please.

I don't know quite how to put this, but the way I think about knitting doesn't even come close to my experience of visiting a new yarn store or knitting with a class, group, or even discussing the subject of knitting at large.

I think I'm the odd man out, really, because I don't take knitting so seriously. Knitting equals fun and exploration in my mind and some days I think that if I show my true feelings too much a real and true "knitter" will have a talk with me or put me in my place or maybe even dismiss me as someone who shouldn't even pursue the craft unless I'm willing to follow certain knitting rules.

But we're not talking about the validity of carbon dating here, are we? We're not talking about whether or not it's cool anymore to wear Louis Vuitton baseball caps and matching jackets, or if life begins and conception or later. We're talking about cables. We're talking about fiber and needles. We're talking about a few knotted threads. That's it.

Shoot. If only I could figure out how to raise my spirits. Should I gaslight a yarn store? Have you ever heard of Gaslighting?

I guess I could take some old, old stash yarn that they definitely don't carry into the yarn store and when the folks aren't looking, stuff it into a shelf. Then, a few minutes later, take out one of my planted yarns and ask the owner if she carries the same thing, but in a different color? And when she says she doesn't carry that yarn, I could take her over to the spot and prove to her that it's on the shelf and she must be mistaken.

Or maybe I could grab an old sweater from a thrift store, unravel a part of it, and stick the rest of the stitches onto my needles, carry the whole shebang, labels intact, into the yarn store, sit down, and pretend to finish knitting it on teeny tiny needles?

Come to think of it, I wish yarn stores had P A Systems. Then, I could sneak up and page Elizabeth Zimmermann or perhaps Debbie Bliss and see if anyone perks up a bit.

Yeah, well. In my dreams.

So I finished Party Girl. I made a size 6 with the Berocco Comfort, three balls and size 8 US needles. The sleeves came out a bit long for Girlfriend, but that is okay. She'll grow into it. I didn't enjoy seaming the thing, but I did manage it well enough. The Comfort is a dream to knit with, very spongy and springy, but I'm not sure that it will wear well. I had a hangnail and the yarn kept getting caught on it and snagged like it had a hunger for old, dead skin. Girlfriend did wear it, however, and didn't get caught on a rosebush or anything sticky so I can't say for sure if it passes the true Snag Test.

The yarn above is the Araucania Aysen. Amazing stuff. This is all handpainted and it feels just like Malabrigo but it has a bit of alpaca and silk in it. I have two skeins and I figure I'll make some sort of scarf, although I don't have any specific plans. At 16 bucks a skein, I'll have to think on it a bit.

Welcome to the Land of Wonk

If Girlfriend didn't have the dreaded Herpangina, I'd feel worse for my current knitting situation. Although I'm pretty sure I haven't ever experienced it for myself, Herpangina looks way more painful than what I suspect seaming up this particular knitting nightmare will be.

Being a top-down and in-one-piece sort of person (unless it's the side-to-side cardigan or full-on pullover which I consider a colossal no-no), I thought I'd try something different and knit this pattern-piece type cardigan for Girlfriend. It's called "the Party Girl," and it's in a recent Berroco pattern pamphlet I picked up at the LYS the other week. I thought it would be a nice departure to knit in pattern pieces although I have to admit I really don't like knitting garments this way. I don't like to seam (read: "I'm not good at it") and there's something ever so satisfying about binding off the last stitch and being able to see what the garment really looks like, pull it over my head and either swoon, faint, or whisper through clenched teeth: "Darling, get me a drink. I'm parched."

Anyway, the sleeve on this Party Girl cardigan: Girlfriend would be lucky to be invited to any party wearing this thing. First, she'll have the dreaded Herpangina debacle hanging over her head, plus, the way these sleeves are coming out, I wouldn't be surprised if when she showed up in public that the bullying girl at her school, the one who a few months ago accused me of not being Girlfriend's "real" mother, would tug at its cranberry red sleeve, point to the raglan shaping, look up at me and snicker, "you're quite the crafty mommy, aren't you?"

The green delight in a skein in the background is the Blue Sky Alpacas Suri Merino in the nicest pea green. I have six skeins of it and I think I'll knit this High Neck Cable pattern. Thing is, it looks like it's knit exactly the same way as Party Girl and I'm not sure I can take the stress. I might just try to convert it to top-down and work it the way I normally do. Still, it would be nice if I could practice on Party Girl and do the High-Neck Cable well, the way its written.

BTW: Don't worry about Girlfriend. Her condition will get better in a few days, fingers crossed. Oh, and if you're wondering why I don't like the way the sleeves are turning out, they have raglan shaping, but instead of shaping within the 3 purl/1 knit ribbing, the instructions tell you to knit 1, k2tog, then work to 3 stitches before the end, ssk, k1. I know they are trying to mimic the shaping on the fronts and the back which are in stockinette, but this sort of thing is messing up that nice ribbing. Oy.

A Simple Rag Quilt

There's an explanation/simple tutorial on how to put a rag quilt together on the Tutorial Sidebar to the left. For those of you who stray from the knitting and want to sew a bit, enjoy!

ETA: If you downloaded the tutorial before 9:30 a.m. Pacific Time on Oct 7th, download again. I made a change to the pattern.