knit and tonic

From Now On, I'll Read All Those Warnings

Putting my usual anti-Disney attitude aside, I have to admit their little hospital, the one right behind that pink and white striped patio birthday-restaurant venue which is adjacent to the Star Tours ride, is pretty neat.

The high temps and humidity were one thing, but I got run over by a woman with two crying kids in a two-seater stroller, then minutes later a Northern European guy practically sat on my lap and undid the wrapping on a stinky sandwich right under my nose. I'm not making much of a comment about the Northern European guy especially because I am one, too (sort of, but not a guy), and I like stinky sandwiches as much as the next person, but he stood outside the usual behavior in that he nearly sat on my lap to stay out of the sun. Most of my friends from Helsinki, Denmark, or your general Scandinavian vicinity are good about that Personal Space thing, but he wasn't having anything to do with the sun, and boy, his hip bones sure were pointy and his sandwich stunk to high heaven. I haven't heard any new news on the TV on the Munster d'Alsace or Limburger fronts, but woweee wow wow. Someone needs to tell the world about this particular stinky stuff because it is truly rank.

Back to Hospital Disney: I had been on Space Mountain, or whatever the heck they call it these days a ton of times several years ago, but I guess I didn't get the email that they changed it. Used to be, you'd hear the crank of the gears and see the tracks as you went through it. Heck, I even think they used to have an audio of some Shakespearean poem reciter or maybe Vincent Price saying things like, "whoooo. Whhooooooo! . . . WhhooooOOOOO!" overhead while we sauntered around paper cutouts of the moon, old-skool roller coaster style. Plus, when I was riding that thing in the early days, it was like purling to me. You know, something I did nearly everyday and certainly not as sexy or scary as, say, cabling without a cable needle. The ride yesterday, it was horrible and all the swirling lights and darkness while riding a roller coaster was the wrong thing to do since I recently recovered from all That Vertigo.

Disneyland, I'm compelled to give it a rave review: It sure has a nice little hospital there. And they treat panic attacks very well, all cheerful-like. It took me only four or five hours to recover, just in time for the 3:30 p.m. parade and a Dove Bar re*treat*. Wow. What a trip, and boy, do I feel old.

On the knitting front, I started the socks for that new friend of mine, the one who didn't recognize me because I looked better than the last time he saw me, the one with the cold mom I made those other Charades for. I'm making him size 11's! I actually like the Charade pattern in a solid yarn even more than in the variegated. The texture is gorgeous, and with this particular yarn, the Gems Pearl, the slipped stitch doesn't yield a sock that's "thick." Shoot, I even think the crunchy stinky pickle eater at my LYS would approve of these.

BTW: The Crocheted Shawl that Shall not be Named: Remember that one? The one that starts with a "C"? I'm actually considering picking up that thing and finishing it for my MIL. That Space Mountain ride must have rendered me total and complete nuts, or, maybe, just maybe, I'm simply happy to be alive.

(Plus, I got that book, The Rowan Story Book of Little Knits, and in spite of a missing chart on my favorite pattern in the book, I have to give it a good review. Although it's typical "Rowan," the kid's knits are inspired and a little bit less traditional than usual. When I say "typical Rowan," I mean, it's, you-know, "typical." Nice stuff, but usually the same stuff over and over with some different styling. Still, I like it and recommend it--as long as in the next re-print they include all the graphs with the patterns.)

Easy Flame Lace Scarf Pattern / Take Me to the River

There's this thing about meeting up with someone you haven't seen in awhile and they don't recognize you. They walk past you and when you tug at their sleeve and they look you all a-wonder and then it dons on them that you are, in fact, "you." Worse, it seems like a split second later they ask you if you have lost weight.

Matter of fact, I haven't lost any weight. I have been the same weight for about a zillion years but I tell you what, there are some days I don't recognize myself. Turns out, my friend didn't recognize me, either, and I nearly ran into the bathroom to check and see if I was, you know, "myself."

What do you say when someone exclaims: "Wow! I didn't recognize you, you look so good!"

Worse: I came home after lunch and now it is after 10 p.m. and I still haven't knit a stitch. Plus, I have to deal with some estate issues (There have been some deaths in the family and it turns out I'm executor of at least one of the wills.) You know, legal stuff, and I would rather knit, to be honest.

This is the song I've listened to about a thousand times this evening by Al Green (Talking Heads did it, too, among others.) If the verse doesn't catch you, look for the end of it for the whereabouts of the free pattern.

Take Me to the River

I don't know why I love her like I do
After all the changes you put me through
Take my money, my cigarettes
I haven't seen the worst of it yet
I wanna know that you'll tell me
I love to stay
Take me to the river, drop me in the water
Take me to the river, dip me in the water
Washing me down, washing me down

I don't know why you treat me so bad
Think of all the things we could have had
Love is an ocean that I cant forget
My sweet sixteen I would never regret

I wanna know that you'll tell me
I love to stay
Take me to the river, drop me in the water
Push me in the river, dip me in the water
Washing me down, washing me

Yeah, well, I must be nuts tonight, but I think when I reveal what's really on my mind, you'll give me a pass:

I'm off to Disneyland for the next two days.

Meantime, enjoy the free pattern in my absence. Love to you all and see you on the weekend, after the ordeal. Take a look at the sidebar, Free Patterns, for the Link of the Easy Flame Lace Scarf.

Sock Yarn? (You Say You Don't Carry Sock Yarn?)

Whenever I go to the yarn shop, the first thing I look for is sock yarn. I don't know why, but I guess part of my process of feeling out a yarn shop is to figure out how serious the place is or how serious the patrons are. I'm not a yarn snob and I can't for the life of me figure out why some people proclaim they are Yarn Snobs without feeling a little ashamed, but as far as the sock yarn availability is in a given yarn shop goes, I do have a tendency to decide which way I'll sway: To Like or to Not Like (the yarn shop).

So in my dreams last night I was in a new yarn shop:

"Would you happen to carry the lace weight?" ("No? . . Oh, that's okay.")

"What about the Super Chunky? You know, the stuff that knits up quick." ("No? You don't carry that stuff? Oh, that's fine, too. As I always say, 'Chunky is what Chunky does! Heh!'")

"So what about the variegated wonders out there? Do you happen to carry the Lorna's? The Noro? The Twisted Sisters? Do you have any of that type of stuff? ("No? Oh, that's fine with me, too. I mean, all those colors, they're great on a pillow, but allover my chest? Don't want to look upholstered, that's for sure!")

"Sock yarn? Do you have any sock yarn?" ("Oh, . . . you say you have some finer weight wool that will 'work' for socks? Oh, really? You say that you have yarn that will 'STAND IN' as sock yarn? . . . *trying to calm down here* YOU SAY YOU HAVE SOME WOOL THAT WILL ACT AS A STAND-IN?  ARE YOU NUTS? ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT I SHOULD EAT YOUR HOT DOG WHEN I COULD HAVE A PROPER KNACKWURST SOMEWHERE ELSE, INSTEAD? . . IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE TELLING ME?")

Anyway. It was just a dream.

I visited a wonderful yarn store yesterday. I've been there before and she has oodles of sock yarn, even that new Crystal Palace Maizy which is a corn product. And the Kaffe Fasset stuff, too. The colors are great. The only thing that stands out in my mind is that I wonder what's up with all the rubberbands, the ones that are fastened around every couple skeins of yarn. (I suspect it means I'm supposed to buy two at a time which is better for business? But what happens if you need just one? I know a lucky sock knitter with an uncle who has only one foot. And my daughter. I could easily knit a couple socks for her with just one skein.)

Boy, that Cashmere Sure is Warm

Being the relative newbie to the yarn and fiber crowd, I haven't ever really knit with cashmere. That isn't to say that I haven't owned a cashmere blend or knit with something that has, say 20 percent cashmere, but I haven't ever come across the 100 percent kind until now and all I can say is, that stuff is warm, and wow, I wish I lived in Alaska.

Alaska, come to think of it, might be too extreme because the roads, from what I hear, aren't so great, at least the major one going in and out of Alaska, so let's say I love this cashmere so much that I wish I lived in Michigan. Plus, there is good beer in Michigan, and all those sausages, too, so Michigan would be a good place to wear this almost-a-sweater, shrug, or what have you.

But, come to think of it, I don't drink beer or eat sausages, I haven't eaten one of those things in ages, but the idea of living in a cooler place that has good food is nice. So, let's say I love this cashmere so much I wish I lived in Maine, instead. Yeah, Maine sounds good with all those lobstah's everywhere, doesn't it?

(But come to think of it, our best friends moved there years ago and when we went to visit it was awfully humid there. We played golf in slow-mo, but the bugs still managed to get stuck in my teeth. Maybe I was smiling too much or just trying to pull in as much fresh air as possible between strokes.)

Yeah, that Cashmere. Did I tell you how warm it is?

This is the pullover or the almost-shrug I'm making out of the Black Pearl Yarns Cashmere. It's top down. I just did some brioche stitch and made it into a tube--that's the collar you can barely see because it is so difficult to photograph black--and then I picked up stitches around it and placed my markers for working top-down. I am not sure that I'll add too much of a sleeve (it's hot in here!), but we shall see. I like to sort of let the pattern take its shape as I knit it. It's much more fun that way.

First Pair Complete, One More to Go

I always feel strange when I wear socks that are meant for someone else, particularly someone I don't know. But since they look much better on feet and I don't like sock blockers, here is a pic of the completed first pair of Charade's out of Cherry Tree Hill Superwash in the colorway, Water, (for my friend's mother). Mods: Worked one inch of ribbing and a total of four inches, including the ribbing, until I started the heel flap.

The yarn in the background is Louet Gems Pearl and I have some charcoal and some that I'd describe as a nice natural linen color. I can't decide which color of the Gems to use because I'll use it for another pair of Charade's for my friend who is a guy and since I'm not a guy, I have no idea what color to knit. And asking HWWV is a lost cause because he'd suggest orange or maybe red, and orange or red just wouldn't be right for this particular guy. Plus, the orange yarn I have in my stash is Lang Jawoll Superwash and even though I love it, I wouldn't make a pair for this guy out of that yarn. He has never owned hand-knit socks before and I figure the Louet Gems is a better choice for a first pair.

By the way, I was in the LYS today and showed these to my favorite clerk. The crunchy pickle-eating lady was there, took notice, picked them up, and said, "They're a little thick, don't you think?"

"Thick? I wouldn't say they're 'thick.'"

"No, they're thick. Thick socks just don't seem right," she said.

"But this is fingering weight yarn, it's the slipped stitch pattern that gives it such a nice texture."

"They're thick."

"And that baby jacket you're knitting with all those stripes of Fun Fur looks Stupid."

(Well, at least that's what I wish I had said.)

BTW: Please don't ask me why I don't change LYS's. Just think how boring life would be if I didn't visit every once in awhile and got to tell you about it.

Oh, and I just wanted to say thanks for all your thoughtful comments on the last post.

Outsiders

I just heard from a very old friend who doesn't knit. I heard from her just days ago, out of the blue. I don't know how she found this blog or the steps she took to find it, but like I said, she doesn't knit, but we know each other really well. We've known each other for many years although we haven't spoken in about 17 of them.

We went to Beauty College together and I fried her hair one day while attempting to perm it. (She had to slick on pomade for about four months until it relaxed). On Tuesday and Thursday mornings after we graduated, before we went to work in the salon, we worked out with a guy named "Val" at the local gym while wearing Jane Fonda disco work-out clothes.

(Long time readers: She's the one I got snowed in with that one night and we clipped  letters out of the local newspapers so we could write a stealth suggestion for the suggestion box at our five-person salon. It said: "Santa says 'Shop Early for Christmas and Avoid the Holiday Rush.'")

Anyway. Off topic, I know, but I wanted to write about it because she is someone I'd call a long-lost friend. If I could gain anything from this blog, it would be to say that I have made new friends and found old ones again and even though the online knitting community can be so welcoming yet alienating at the same time, there are good times and I want to hang on to them.

About the Muggles. I mentioned it briefly on a post a week ago, and then again on the Ravelry site--on the forum--that it was a little disconcerting how I noted that some in the knitting community were beginning to refer to those "not in the know" or "those who don't knit/aren't interested in it" as "Muggles."

Although I don't really know if I'm concerned about people referring to those on the "outside" as "Muggles," what gives me pause is the insinuation that we are in some sort of club and "they" aren't.

It reminds me of the days when I walked into the LYS and everyone stopped talking.

It reminds me of the day when the LYS owner asked me to do a swatch and I did the backward loop cast on, and she scoffed (while the rest of the gals sitting around the table chuckled).

It reminds me of all the reasons that I nearly did not want to learn to knit.

It reminds me of how scared I was to finally get the gumption and sit down at the table at the LYS, along with the rest of the insiders.

It reminds me of being a "Muggle."

(Just so you know, the consensus is that the folks generally think it is okay to call people who "don't knit," "Muggles." So, I think that I'm in the minority, here.)

Beyond that, I finally began a new pattern. It's out of the Black Pearl Yarns Cashmere in Black Onyx. It's gorgeous and wonderful to work with, but friends, if you are going to knit at night with black yarn, do yourself a favor and get one of those Ott-Lites from Joann.com (but don't go into the actual store during the hours between about 11:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.; you'll want to kill yourself.)

BTW: What you see is a Brioche Stitch strip. I plan on making it long enough to loop loosely around my neck. Then, I'll pick up stitches around one of the sides and start a top-down sweater from there. (And another thing: I had no idea that Yarn Harlot coined the "Muggle" phrase for non-knitters, so I'm not commenting on her post(s). I don't get out much.)

Easy Flame Lace (and Things You Don't Want to Know About a Guy in a Blue Corvette)

I feel sorta cheap in a way. Not in the sense you might think, because honestly, there was only one time that I got stuck paying for a date (at a Bob's Big Boy; he "forgot" his wallet), but in the sense that scarves, as wonderful as they are, that many are really just stitch patterns with simple borders so the scarf doesn't roll, and I'm offering you one of these patterns. (Hopefully, one that will NOT roll.)

Now that I think about it, out of the handful of scarves I have knit, at least a few of them have rolled.  I mean, they rolled so bad that the only thing I can compare their rolling to is that random guy sporting a mullet who pulls up to the gas station in his 80's-somethin' sparkly blue Corvette (and 19-year old daughter in tow texting on her phone) all hooked up to his BlueTooth Head Set while blasting "Relax" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood louder than you can imagine, and perhaps jumping into a pile of buffalo wings with extra dipping sauce, and then leaping up, doing the twist and winking at you just like he knew you would wink back. Oy oy oy oy. (Or worse, he catches your eye and tells you how he was rolling last time he watched Deuce Bigalow.)

Anyway. Scarves: As far as I'm concerned, never listen to the knitter folk who promise their pattern won't roll after blocking; most of them do, unless they have plenty of garter stitch or a steam roller and at the ready. They roll.

You guys said you wanted the pattern, so here's the Beta version. Once I finish my own sample, I'll update the "Official" pattern with all the facts and fancy pictures. Meantime, if you happen to have some lace weight merino and want to work a simple lace pattern, here it is.

Enjoy. (And note that the bottom portion of the scarf pictured has been lightly blocked. The rest of it, not.)

Easy Flame Lace Scarf

Finished Length: Don’t know yet!

Gauge: Approximately 7 stitches = 1 inch in Flickering Flame Stitch Pattern. It isn’t that crucial to obtain gauge, but you will want your stitches to lay close together and not be too loose.

Materials: Approximately 1 hank of Malabrigo Laceweight (100% Meino Wool / 470 yards) or 1 hank of Lanas Puras Lace weight (it comes in affordable 900-yard hanks—see OnePlanetYarnandFiber.com)

Yarn Used and Pictured Here: Malabrigo Lace Weight in Holly Hock Color 148

Needles: US Size 4 (3.5mm) circular or straight

Notions
Stitch markers
Tapestry needle to weave in ends

Note, the picture you see here is of the unfinished/unblocked scarf. I’ll complete it soon, so stay tuned and in the meantime, start one of your own!

Flickering Flames Stitch Pattern
Multiple of 10 sts +1
Row 1 (RS): K1, *yo, k3, sl 1, k2tog, psso, k3, yo, k1; rep from * to end.
Row 2: Purl
Repeat the last 2 rows 3 times more (or a total of four times).
Row 9: K2tog, k3, yo, k1, yo, k3, *sl 1, k2tog, psso, k3, yo, k1, yo, k3; rep from * to last 2 sts, sl 1, k1, psso.
Row 10: Purl
Repeat the last 2 rows 3 times more (or a total of four times).

Repeat these 16 rows.

The Pattern

This scarf is worked with a five-stitch edge of garter stitch on each side so it doesn’t roll.

CO 51 stitches.

Knit 4 rows to form garter stitch bottom edge.

Begin Lace Pattern: Knit 5 sts, pm, work Row 1 of Flickering Flames Stitch Pattern to last 5 sts, pm, knit to end.

Next Row: Knit 5 stitches, sm, work next row of Flickering Flames Stitch Pattern, sm, knit to end.

Continue working Flickering Flames Stitch Pattern with first and last 5 stitches in garter stitch (knit each row) until you run out of yarn or your scarf is as long as you want it to be. End with three garter stitch rows (knit each row) then, BO.

Weave in ends.

Note: This pattern is the Beta version! Once I complete my sample, I’ll spruce it up with photos and any corrections, although I think this is pretty accurate.

ETA: I was tagged by my pal over at Sknitty.com as a Rockin' Grrl Blogger. For some reason, I couldn't upload the button to my site here, but I wanted to say thanks! Pop over to her blog and say hi to Jillian. She just completed a Chikami, and it looks great!

An Open Letter to Lace

I don't know about you, friends, but for me there comes a time when I have to throw up my hands and give something new a try. For me it was lace--I think I've told you how much I hate it, i.e., "I can't do it," but today was the day, sisters and brothers.

Dear Lace,

I don't love you so much, you twisted masquerade of passed-over stitches, yarn overs and whatnot.

I know, my statement might be a bit strong, declaring I don't love you so much, but I will honor the fact that this particular stitch of you is a bit more palatable than the other versions I have tried. For one, this stitch doesn't have too many holes, and you know how I hate walking by a bush or a prickly person and getting stuck.

Your uhm, "friend," Wendy

Anyway, the yarn I'm using is nice: It's that lace weight Malabrigo, which is just like the Lanas Puras lace weight/fingering weight that I have in my stash. It yelled at me when I was at the LYS the other day while the girls were discussing things like knee and hip surgery, and having caps replaced or re-done. It all sounds pretty serious, but compared to tedium of following a simple two-row/two-row repeat of yarn overs and a few other maneuvers that seem to bug only one person in the knitting universe--me--the way it does, then all that surgery, hobbly walking, and falling out of teeth and having to stick them back in with bubble gum or what have you is nothing compared. (I ask you: Do you honestly think a dentist could correct sixteen botched rows of the Flickering Flames? . . . Yup, that's what I thought.)

Not to mention, I showed a certain someone a pic from my photo shoot and wouldn't you know the first thing that came out of my her mouth was, "Who'd wear a sweater with a bikini?!"

Oy.

So, anyways, I'll knit "lace," albeit beginner's "lace." This pattern I'm knitting is called Flickering Flames, and if you're interested and have just one skein of fingering weight Malabrigo or Lanas Puras (or anything else of that weight in at least 470 yards), I'll write down the pattern for you and post it. Just let me know, and I'll write it all down.

Just so you know: HWWV bought a waterproof casing for my camera, and my hair is not red in real life. It just looks that way underwater. Oh, and yeah, I forgot to tell you, I celebrated my foray into lace by buying some of those Addi Turbo Lace circular needles in size four. I'd love to tell you that they are fab, but what do I know? I've never really knit lace before, except for a few shawls and items that nearly gave me a heart attack.

On Doing What You Do

Before we went to the Pick-the-Veggies-Yourself Farm (the one with that authentic feel, you know, lots of goats walking these weird planks, begging for food, and Clydesdales pulling children in wagons for five tickets each) we stopped off at the semi-local biker hangout, the one with the clean toilets but lots of people-watching opportunities, chips, salsa, and the usual fare.

Since it was so hot, we sat indoors, right next to the counters. Just as we settled in, a bevy of bikers saddled up to the counter to order their drinks. Then, "What'll you have?" asked the waitress.

"I don't know, what are you going to have?"

"...Uhm. I haven't decided. What do you want?"

"I'll be having what everyone else is having."

After a few seconds of this, the most crusty of them all elbows up to the front and says:

"Would you happen to have any Mt. McKinley Clear?"

Waitress: "Nope. But we have Bud, Bud Light, Miller Light and Guinness."

"Mt. McKinley isn't beer, madam. It's water. And it's bottled at the source. Since you don't have that, would you happen to have some fresh-brewed Passion Fruit Tea?"

Waitress: "Nope."

"Then, how about a Snapple? The Raspberry Tea flavor?" ("Nope.")

So we're sitting there, eavesdropping, and just when I was ready to jump out of the booth, point my finger at that man and declare, "You there! Get rid of that pretentious five-elastic-sausage ponytail and buy yourself a suit and one of those annoying Bluetooth ear-phone thingies!"

I stopped myself short. I stopped myself, because heck, us knitters, we get all that She's-a-Granny stuff and although it doesn't bug me that much, it's looking like a decent portion of the rest of the knitting and crafting community have some issues with how they are perceived among non-crafters or those they call "Muggles," or the ones "who just don't get it."

And wouldn't you know, just today, one of the people we met up with at the "farm" informed me that she once considered learning how to knit for herself. "But," she said, "when I realized that it would take a lot of 'work' and a lot of 'time,' I changed my mind."

When I heard her say this, I decided that it was completely fine that not everyone should like, want, or need to knit--or even understand the idea of it--because I happen to like the fact that it takes work and time.

BTW: I have almost completed my first pair of Charade's and they are fantastic. I am planning another pair by Sandra Park, the Bloody Mary socks, but I'm not sure if the yarn that I'm considering will turn out like her socks in the end. I wonder if I need some self-striping to achieve her effect. Hmmmm. Other than that Pink Dot Claudia's Handpaint and the Jitterbug (the green and red colorway) that could end up as socks, I have five skeins of the Artyarns Supermerino in a nice Moroccan blue for a wrap or something like that. I have a feeling I won't have much of a chance to wear anything at all that I make from the Artyarns due to our climate, but a girl can dream, you know.)

More from the El Matador

I'm usually the last person to notice the little things, but when I got these stitch markers in the mail, the first thing I spotted was that in each set there was one unique stand-out marker. One stand-out marker that could be used for the beginning of the round, or something like that.

And since I'm an in-the-round lover, I'm all over these markers. Problem is, I'm also prone to misplacing things like these so I'll definitely have to reserve them for a pet project. Cristina, the gal over at Etsy who made the markers, also designs and makes wonderful jewelry.

Just this second as I was typing, I had a thought that I could always dangle a couple of the markers off some of those earring wires and wear them as dangle-y earrings. But then again, maybe not. (Did any of you ever wear theme earrings? I spotted some martini glasses dangling off someones ears the other day and was immediately thankful that I got rid of my cache of theme earrings years ago.)

Oh, and here's a picture of the beach scene. Yeah, I know, the gals aren't wearing their metallic bikinis. When this was snapped, they were on their third change of "clothing."