Where's the Toilet in This Place, Anyway?

Feelin' a little low. Feelin' a little stressed. I tell you what, when you're feeling a little low and a little stressed there's only one thing to do: Knit like a crazy lady.

This kimono I made for Girlfriend is based on Elizabeth Zimmermann's outline for what she calls a Bog Jacket. It's basically a square, but you cut in some sleeves, pull out the waste yarn, do some fancy folding and grafting, and there you go. The only issue I had is, I had some difficulty with the grafting. I can usually graft pretty well; it's just that there are things on my mind and I couldn't be patient with the thing.

I mean, honestly, when you're told that you don't speak "proper English" by a 10-year old foreigner, it stings.

And when that 10-year old critiques the food and his grandparents and mother stop their conversation to hear just how he thinks the California Rolls we're serving (in California) aren't done correctly, life feels a bit more twisted than it felt since last Thursday and you pretty much want to hand him a hot dog and ask him to critique that.

So, lots of knitting, lots of fast knitting has been done. But the grafting part became my whipping boy. So if you're wondering why the belt on this thing is so high, to be honest, I put it there to hide the flaws. In the end, though, it's kind of a happy accident because it actually looks good that way.

Here's how the kimono looked before I removed the waste (purple) yarn for the sleeves:

And this is what it looks like with one grafted sleeve and front and the other side getting ready for the whipping boy treatment (note the stitch holder hiding the grafted side. The one that I practically demolished):

So here it is. In Mission Falls 1824 Cotton from SuperCrafty. I told Girlfriend that she could wear it after the pool (and this stuff is great for things like that), so she decided to try it on for us. I'm just worried she'll begin to critique my knitting when she begins to speak "proper English."

And when she does, I swear, I'll simply perish.

BTW: The title of this post is another gem from one of the guests.

Comments

[melissa]

the kimono jacket is adorable.
always remember, people can say whatever they want, but you're the one holding the pointy sticks!

[NurseShar]

Oh my....I really don't know what to say about your guest and their comments......Love the jacket. Hang in there Wendy, this too shall pass.

[keohinani]

wow, took me a moment to figure out the construction but that's pretty darn clever!
i'm sorry you have to deal with such ignorance in your house.

[Kate]

That kimono is fabulous! Must try a bigger size for me...

Best of luck with the visitors if they're still around. I'm appalled and I don't know anybody involved.

[Kaity]

The bog jacket/kimono turned out really cute!

Hang in there Wendy, seek refuge in yarn therapy!

[Allison]

Wow, you're fast! I love, love, love the kimono!

[fluttercrafts]

*looks for the toilet in this place*

I do adore folks who come in, take over and assume the universe shall bend to their whim. So you just graft until your heart is content, girl.

Girlfriend is gorgeous, the Kimono is gorgeous and YOU are gorgeous, clever and funny. Now, gimme a California roll AND a hotdog.

[Scout]

HOW DO YOU GET ALL OF THIS KNITTING DONE?

I feel like the biggest knitting slacker compared to what you accomplish.

[Patience]

Sounds like it's time to grit teeth and be gracious.

When a visit with Himself's parents is in the cards, I knit myself a myself a Nalgar. Acres of knitting all in one piece, but nothing so complicated that their blather gets in the way. I can usually get up the body and about 1/2 - 3/4 of the way through the increases in a 2-3 days visit.

Well done on the bog jacket and I like your shaping of the neck.

[Allegra]

love the kimono! i bow down to you for being so prolific!

[Wendy]

Nalgar = Raglan?

[AmyH]

Family, yes? Well, ahem. I think whomever said they grit their teeth had it correct. I couldn't have gotten through our visit to my parents' with my brother in law without my trusty FBS in one hand and a sharp darning needle in the other.

[Cheri]

That kimono is almost as darling as girlfriend. Reading the comments you've received from your houseguests has made me wish for a gin and tonic (or three)!!

[Ninabeena]

I love this kimono. It turned out smashing. Great job.
AND Girlfriends fashion execution is flawless

[Elizabeth M.]

Cute cute cute kimono. The belt is perfect high up.

Here's what you do. Go buy some instant mac and cheese and hot dogs and canned spinach and that's the menu for several days. See how long they loiter.

You might point out to the 10 yr old that American children aren't encouraged to be so rude to adults. Of course, that isn't always true, but might make your point.

[Marsha]

Cute kimono!! GF, precious as ever!
Keep your chin up Wendy, and don't let them get you down.
And keep those great designs coming!!

[Gina L.]

I have a kid in my world that always knows the answers and critics everything....

A therapist recommended this comment-
"You like being critical don't you?"
or
My comment-when I couldn't bear it any longer.
"Thank you Mr. Know it ALL!"

The kimono is the perfect swim cover up. Very crisp & refreshing!

[Gina L.]

I forget to say... all comments said in an unemotional even voice. LOL.

[Tammy]

Another adorable garment on the always adorable Girlfriend!

As for your visitors... I say knit away! I'll pray for these next days to pass quickly! How long are they here for?

[Wendy]

...oh, about a month...

[Cheri]

A MONTH!!! I have family not far north of you (Central Coast) go stay with them, they won't critique your English, or your food. I promise!!

[sunflowerfairy]

A MONTH?!!?

Are you kidding?

Stop buying yarn and start buying wine. And chocolate. In bulk.

Beautiful kimono. I don't know how you do it.

[Michele]

The look on Girlfriend's face is like "get these people out of my house!". A MONTH... I say you need a lot of yarn shopping to get through it.

[Wendy]

...by the skin of my teeth... (is that what they say?)

[fluttercrafts]

well they could say that, but you know, that just wouldn't be proper english...