So you go into the LYS and talk to the resident helper. She's the one with the bad attitude and who could reduce even the strongest among us to tears, but you suck up to her just to keep the peace and make sure you'll be able to feel comfortable enough to shop on all the days the shop is open...even when she is there.
Anyway, you're under the gun to come up with a few new designs for a book proposal, and being a newbie-designer and not really knowing anything at all, you'll listen to just about everyone.
You'll listen to everyone but your very own gut.
....Something that would go with the Hermes driving mocs or maybe your vintage Guccis. Something that would look just about right in your cottage kitchen, the one that just so happens to be on the Rhine somewhere in France or wherever that is. (Something like Napa, but much more exotic and without loads of cars whizzing by.)
Anyhow. I stopped by the LYS on the wrong day while I had the itch. I was under the gun to do a new thing for the proposal (only have two sweaters and a cap...oh, the pain), and decided to ask the gal, the one with the so-so attitude, what she would do.
My first mistake.
My second mistake was to fall for the "just feel it, it's such a soft yarn!" spiel.
What's up with that anyway? About 99 percent of the time when someone is telling you about a nice yarn, something they love, they'll usually say, "and it is soooo soft!"
...or, you'll be telling them about something you're knitting and the first question that comes out of their mouths will be, "...but is it soft?"
You know what? I don't want to hear about the "Is it Soft" thing anymore. This will no longer be the numero uno selling point. Sure, you want something that won't scratch your skin off, but you want something that knits up nicely too, don't you? Don't you also want something that will hold its shape? Or that is crisp when it should be, and fluffy when it should be, too?
But El Fluffo on Crack isn't what I expected. When she told me "soft," I heard "soft," but I also heard, "this will be the end of all your designing problems. You will fall in love again. You will be whole. This is your ever most and ultimate desire. This is the coup de gras. The cookie topper. The Living End, Darling." (Never mind the $9.00 a ball price point...and her suggestion that I buy 8 skeins. Talk about taking advantage of a woman down on her creativity.)
I was so wrong. But at least this latest nightmare is versatile.
And the best thing of all is, it won't be in any book of mine. And I promise, I won't peddle it off to any of you.
(And no, I'm not pregnant. It's just that my pants are falling down.)