My Big Day on the Set

Well, shoot. If Mouseketeers sweated like pigs, had stomach cramps like all get out, and stuttered like, oh...Rainman, they'd be a Knitster.

At least this Knitster.

Talk about being nervous. The thing is, I pretty much sat and knitted for about six hours straight. That's right: six hours. I mean, this is the Stuff that dreams are made of: six hours of mostly uninterrupted knitting time. Six hours. Think of all that you could accomplish?

Let me tell you what I accomplished. Calorie burn on double time. The shakes. Dry mouth. Lips sticking to teeth. Unabashed nervousness. I was not made for TV (or pageants, which I guess, is a plus).

And it is a good thing I didn't wear Ella. I would've ruined her with all my sweat. And here, I thought Secret Platinum in Peach Shimmer would do the trick. After two hours in the studio I was sniffing here and there and wondering what that smell was.

It was me. You know: Good old-fashioned PSB.O.SSDYDLYA Syndrome. (Peach Simmer B.O. Sans Shimmer and Don't You Dare Lift Your Arms)

Anyways, Annie Modesitt was a pro. She seemed so cool and collected (she must have used Sure). Vickie Howell was wonderful, too, and had great hair and freckles. My fellow knitster gals were great. I even spotted a fellow blogger from an earlier shoot. He was just leaving.

"Wicked Stitches! Wicked Stitches!" I yelled at him. He didn't look up.

"Wicked Stitches! Wicked Stitches. I know you!" (Waving breadstick and jumping up and down), then:

Deadpan: "No, not Wicked Stitches. I'm 'My Big Fat Needle.'"

"Big Fat Needle? Big Fat Needle? I'm Knit and Tonic Wendy!"

Picture two people running across yards and yards of tall grass. We hugged. It was like we were old friends or something. It was the ultimate Quickie Blogger Hook-Up.

I don't know what it was that made me yell "Wicked Stitches,"  because I knew exactly who he was. Maybe it's because Ariane has been on my mind. She test-knitted my Essential Stripe and just last night we wrapped it up. Available in the A.M., provided Typepad fixes a few glitches.

But anyway, six hours of knitting and about 119 words. That was my day. Approximately 119 words squeezed out between parched lips, stomach clenched:

1 - "Oh my!"
2 - "Greats!"
1 - "I just adore this color!"...and...
1 - "Oh that? That corset top I knit ages ago? The one you guys took out and put on display? I had to alter the pattern. Yeah! I didn't check my gauge? And you know, you're supposed to do that...knit a gauge swatch? Isn't that what they say?..Well, I didn't, and heh heh, I had to change it, otherwise it wouldn't fit around, you know, my middle and all that, so I had to change it. Kudo's to to you, Annie, lovely pattern, but I had to change it. And you know how it is? You just wanna knit, right? Yeah. So I got that Bamboo yarn...(lips sticking together now, receiving glares)...I just put my head down, you know, and knitted it....Lovely pattern. I love it, well you know. heh heh..."

..."CUT!"

(BTW: this is what happens when you leave Girlfriend with HWWV for more than six hours.)

 

Comments

[Carol]

Wendy, I'm sure you were great on the set! We'll always be your fans, anyways! And Girlfriend is SO cute! Congrats!
Carol

[Carol]

Wendy, I'm sure you were great on the set! Can't wait to watch it!And Girlfriend is SO cute!Congrats!
Carol

[Debbie]

Love girlfriend's wings!

[Moe]

I can so relate to stomach clenching and sweating when nervous. As an aside (and too much info) - Secret antiperspirant does not work. I tried platinum too, sounded hardcore. My favourite tried and true is Lady Speed Stick (do you have that in the US?) - any flavour. Maybe it has extra aluminum or something and I will lose my mind someday, but my pits will smell fantastic.

[taryn]

how cool, what season are you up to in the states? we are on the first season (or maybe second?) so i probably have AGES to wait to see it. i'm sure you were fab and no one noticed any BO action. Girlfriend is too cute.

[Judy]

When will your episode air?? I don't always remember to watch Knitty Gritty, so be sure to post when it's coming up so I can tape it! I know you did fine, too...

[Kaity]

I can't wait to see you on TV! And Girlfriend is just soooo cute! I've been caught with a blue tounge before.

[graylagran]

wow. what do you have to eat to get your tongue that color? i know how to get my teeth purple, a good dose of red wine :)
thanks for sharing your 'knister' experience. what a hoot! i look forward to that episode airing -- of course i will have to find a friend with dvr or tivo, because "gray la gran needs TIVO", but she doesn't have tivo!

[Marnie]

Well, congrats on your TV debute. For what it's worth, I think I'm a dork on TV and people tell me I do well enough, so there's a pretty good chance you did fine and dandy.

[Karma]

ARG! I'm so upset that I don't get the DIY channel. Grr. I'm pretty sure your episode is going to absolutely fabulous and really fun to watch. And you crack me up!!!

[Melissa]

Can't wait to see you on Knitty Gritty! When does your episode air?

[Leslie]

Too cool! Fill us in on how you got selected for the show (lucky dog) pls! You're website is a hoot and always guaranteed to make me identify and laugh w/you!
Give us the scoop!

[Terri]

Your blog seems to have become required reading for me. In return for all the pleasure and inspiration I've gotten from your daily knitting saga, let me just offer this in return: Lady Mitchum!

Oh yes, please tell us when to tune in!

[Amy]

When's it going to air? And was Crazy Aunt Purl there too? She mentioned something on her blog about Annie Modesitt and Knitty Gritty.

[Rachel]

You're a star! What a fun thing to be a part of! I can't wait to see your knitty gritty premier!

[Angela]

What a cool experience!

[Lesli]

Shouldn't all Angels have wings? (I know..that was cheesy!) Can't wait to see the episode! Congrats again!! What did you end up wearing? Oh, and I swear by Mitchum deodorant..even though I think it causes cancer and Alzheimer's later on.....what was I talking about? hehhehe

[Dusa]

So, really. What did you wear? Hmmm? And which lipstick. Inquiring minds need to know.

[Lisa]

Can't wait to see your episode! Congrats on making it onto TV! And I know John from My Big Fat Needle - he's my "yarn-dealer" at The Point in NYC. Isn't he a sweetheart?

[Jen]

Congratulations on being a knitster! I'm sure you did just fine. It seems everyone I'm reading these days is on Knitty Gritty. I want to be one of the cool kids too!

I laughed out loud. Thanks again for sharing your great stories, and I wish I had cable just to see KG.

[Cheri]

I'll bet you looked (and acted) better than I do on my best day when I need to look important, grown up or at least somewhat sane. Sorry I don't have cable so I can't watch your debut (unless I find a patient friend who will let me borrow their tv)!

Blue tongue is quite becoming to girlfriend. She's quite darling.

[Sharon]

So what did you knit (finish?) in those 6 hours of knitting? Other than the BO, lips sticking, etc., was it fun?

[jillian]

I'm positive it wasn't THAT bad...you were glam as usual, for sure!! Can't wait to see it!

[lizbon]

Just remember that Marilyn Monroe was a very nervous type - and who could have looked better than her? Viva Mademoiselle Tonique!

[ariane]

That is too funny, Wendy!!!!

And girlfriend is cuter than ever.